Keep Drinkin’ the Hateorade: Version 2.0

Perhaps you’ve heard the slang term “hateorade” as in “Don’t be sippin’ on the hateorade!”  This is a term most often employed after a logical, fair argument has been presented, and the recipient of the criticism has no logic or facts to toss back and uses hateorade to hint at jealousy being the root of the criticism, “Keep sippin’ the hateorade, hater.”  (I think hateorade has something to do with green Gatorade and green being the color of jealousy, but scholars are still debating its true origins.)  The crowd witnessing the argument will forget all the logic and possibly well-meaning criticism in the first comment and will be overcome by the catchy accusation of being a hater, resulting in a collective, “Awww, snap!”

“Quit drinkin’ the hateorade!” is a handy weapon for your rejoinder holster, especially if you’re the type who is wildly untalented, but won’t accept even the mildest reality check.  You never have to be right.  You don’t have to answer any specific criticism.  All you have to do is accuse them of hating and you win.

“Honey, your father and I don’t think you should try out for American Idol.  You’re not a good singer, and you’re not a good dancer.”
“Whatever, haters…guess you been drinkin’ the hateorade.”
“Your father and I aren’t haters.  We’re telling you the truth because we care.  Most parents encourage their children’s terrible singing, but we care enough to tell you the truth before you’re on television.”
“Keep sippin’.  Keep sippin’ that hateorade, haters.”

If you’re the type who is seldom right, your “Awww, snap!” gallery may tire of hateorade quickly, and you may want to consider one of these 2.0 versions of being a hater:

“Why would you buy this house?”
“I got a great deal.”
“But the house is on fire.”
“Whatever.  I guess you’ve been lickin’ the despise cream.”

Ice cream good. Despise cream not so good.

“Your backgrounds are so different.  Honey, I don’t think he’s right for you.”
“Why, because he’s not white?”
“No, because he’s a hologram.”
“Whatever, keep sippin’ the genocider.”

“The school called and said you’ve been missing a lot of class.”
“Crunch, crunch!  How are those Cool Ranch Cold Shoulder-itos?”

“When are you going to pay your half of the rent?”
“Did you hear about the 2-for-1 pancake special down at the Evil Eye-HOP?”

“I think you’re sitting in my seat.”
“I don’t see your name on it.”
“But my name is on the title.  This is my car.  The title is in the glove compartment.”
“Guess who has the inside track and just took the lead in the abhor-se race.”

“Your book report is due today.”
“Says who?”
“Says me, your teacher.”
“Have you seen that new show Lord of the Intolerdance?”

“Do you have that $10 you owe me?”
“And my friend will have three croissants, four sesame rolls, and a loathe of bread.”

“Ouch! You just ran over my foot!”
“Judge, allow me to call my next witness.  Please place your hand on this Bible and swear your detest-imony will be the truth…”

“Hey, that’s my husband you’re kissing!”
“If you’re gonna make me a sandwich, will you please cut off the crust-ies?”

If you’re unfamiliar with the urban slang word “hateorade” perhaps you spend your time more wisely than I do.  Or maybe you’re just a hater–quit drinkin’ the hateorade, hater!