You’re a great person.
Your mom likes you. I like you. Everybody likes you.
Or do they?
Is it possible people are secretly insulting you, but you always miss it because you’re unfamiliar with the art of the backhanded compliment?
The backhanded compliment is so effective because it starts with a positive first half that fits perfectly with what you had hoped to hear, thus triggering the brain’s this person is a friend so I don’t need to listen closely to what they say button and preventing you from detecting a thinly veiled insult in the second half.
Backhanded compliments: Do any of these compliments sound familiar to you?
1. This is so impressive…for you.
2. You march to the beat of your own drum, don’t you? I admire you for resisting society’s obsession with body shape.
3. Thanks for having me over for dinner. This meal tastes just like mom used to make…the time we were lost in the wilderness.
4. You’re a really great golfer for never having golfed before. (You’re pretty sure he knows you’ve been golfing for years)
5. Sometimes I wish I’d followed your path and chosen a career I loved over making lots and lots of money…lots of money.
6. I love your free spirit! You just wear whatever you want, and you don’t care what anybody thinks!
7. Your house is so cozy! I love how you can see all your possessions at once. I bet you never lose anything.
8. You are such a gifted public speaker…is what anyone would say if they missed the first eighteen minutes of your speech and only heard the last two.
9. What a cute little car. I should downsize, too. Maybe I’ll sell my car and get one like yours…or maybe two like yours.
10. This is the best first draft I’ve ever read. (He knows it’s your sixth and final draft and due in fifteen minutes)
Grey-area compliments: Don’t be too quick to anger if you hear any of these.
I like your hat. (It’s possible she really does like your hat, but it’s also possible she’s saying she hates your hair.)
Is this your girlfriend? (Not technically a compliment, but could be interpreted as such if the person he is pointing to is really attractive, and he’s saying you’re at a level capable of winning such an attractive girl. Not a compliment if the girl in question is your elderly mother.)
Not backhanded compliments, not any kind of compliments:
What time is it?
Has anyone seen my coat?
Kool-aid has too much sugar.
If you’ve received any compliments that confuse you, and you’d like my ruling as to whether they are back-handed compliments, grey-area compliments, or not compliments, please submit them in the comments section.
The Good Greatsby 
jaerae1971
April 15, 2011
“I was thinking about you the other day, when I was on the toilet.”
?
The Good Greatsby
April 15, 2011
Ha! Pretty funny, but maybe grey area because sometimes you’ve been holding it a long time, and it feels really good to go to the toilet. If the person was thinking about you while having this good feeling, that could be a compliment.
Emily Jane
April 15, 2011
[Insert ‘Like’ button here]
qwinkly3
May 29, 2012
Definitely not “grey area”. Perhaps the brown area. If it’s grey area, I’d suggest a diet change.
averageinsuburbia
April 15, 2011
“Your hair color isn’t really blonde…it’s Golden Retriever. What? Golden Retriever’s are beautiful dogs!”
averageinsuburbia
April 15, 2011
Yikes, I mean ‘Retrievers’.
qwinkly3
May 29, 2012
YAY! I’m not alone on the planet ! There is one more poor shlub so picky about grammar !
The Good Greatsby
April 15, 2011
Probably a back-handed compliment, although golden retrievers are very smart and loyal, and it’s possible this friend sees you this way.
Angelia
April 15, 2011
“I love the way you’ve embraced shabby-chic! I wish I didn’t care so much about how clean my house looks.”
The Good Greatsby
April 15, 2011
Back-handed compliment! I’ve heard many variations of this one before.
Lenore Diane
April 15, 2011
Hahahaha – that’s funny! Especially from the perspective of this ‘shabby-chic’ living gal.
qwinkly3
May 29, 2012
The comeback to her is, “I love the way you’ve embraced skanky whore! I wish I didn’t care so much about not walking around looking like that.”
Lori
April 15, 2011
This is one I’ve received several times…Ohhhh..I love your new haircut….it looks sooo much better!!
I could fill up this little box with others; but, it would be too emotionally painful!
Great post!
The Good Greatsby
April 15, 2011
Isn’t that the worst? We’ve all had that situation where someone tells us our hair looks so much better or we lost weight and look better, and we wonder what else they’re not telling us. Maybe everyone hates our spouse as well and is waiting for us to break up so they can tell us how bad that person was for us.
qwinkly3
May 29, 2012
I hate the lost weight one. You go somewhere after a month, now 10 pounds FATTER, and someone asks, “Wow, did you lose weight?” How FAT did they remember me to be before?
Meet the Buttrams
April 15, 2011
You write so grammatically correct, Greatsby.
The Good Greatsby
April 15, 2011
Was that a real compliment? I’m cautious to receive a compliment during the back-handed compliment post.
qwinkly3
May 29, 2012
That’s “correctLY”,
savesprinkles1234
April 15, 2011
I can’t think of any for myself, but my ex- mother-in-law once told my rebellious teenaged daughter that her haircut looked like Hitler’s. I’ve always thought my ex-in-laws were Nazis, so where does that compliment fall?
The Good Greatsby
April 15, 2011
Ha! If they had a soft spot for Hitler, maybe the remark about the haircut was supposed to be a compliment.
madtante
April 15, 2011
I’ve received #s 6 & 9 many times.
I’m from the Midwest. We try to appear civil, even when insulting.
The Good Greatsby
April 15, 2011
I’ve heard so many variations of the “you’re such a free spirit” line over the years: you march to the beat of your own drum, or you make your own rules, etc., but I often think it’s not meant as a compliment, but in actuality disguises deep disapproval.
Spectra
April 16, 2011
Ditto – but in my Leo/Lioness pride, Iactually believed people were being sincere by telling me the above things. Or am I just naive?
This post REALLY hit a deep chord with me! I spent 2 months with a ‘friend’ in CA who spent the entire time insulting/back-hand complimenting me, and Idid not have a name for it until today!
“Your hair is so beautiful…why do you wear it up???” translation: you have an ugly face and should hide it with all of that BIG hair.
The Good Greatsby
April 16, 2011
I’ve known people who were constantly back-handing, and it’s exhausting to spend even a minute in their company. You have to analyze everything they say.
ryoko861
April 15, 2011
Oooh, #7 has been said to me a couple times…..
And I’ve since “decluttered” the living room. But not because of said “compliments”. But even I was starting to think it was alittle too “cozy”.
Ok, now I’m going to be paranoid every time someone compliments me on something. Are there underlying meanings in their graciousness? Hmmmm?
The Good Greatsby
April 15, 2011
I think it’s fun to try and find a hidden insult in everything people say to me.
enus71
April 15, 2011
I have another catagory to add if i may…..how about the guy who says something like ” I heard that…and everything else you tell him is the same line….”I heard that”…he is actually devoid of adding anything to a conversation. He isn’t even listening. He is my father-in-law…..
Just say ….Bless your heart …before any comment and you can say bad things to good people too….
qwinkly3
May 29, 2012
Or you can end with “Just sayin’.”
berettaluvz26
April 15, 2011
You have so many cats! I wish I had more cats instead of friends…
Who’s your hairstylist? (I never know if I’m being asked because they like my hair, or because they want to know which stylist to avoid.)
The Good Greatsby
April 15, 2011
Ha! I like both of those. I had a comment similar to the cats instead of friends, but I couldn’t make it work. Yours was funnier.
berettaluvz26
April 15, 2011
Now I totally want to know what yours was… I need an arsenal of back-handed compliments about cats to say to people who have more of them than I do so I can feel better about being an aspiring cat lady 🙂
Lenore Diane
April 15, 2011
This is great. (Sincere compliment.)
Who gave you the idea and words?
The Good Greatsby
April 15, 2011
Well done.
Amy
April 15, 2011
Oh, this is such a great blog! Do you do any “real” writing?
The Good Greatsby
April 15, 2011
Masterfully done, Amy.
Amy
April 15, 2011
It pained me to type it, though! I almost couldn’t do it.
The Good Greatsby
April 15, 2011
I could tell your heart wasn’t in it, Amy.
Tori Nelson
April 15, 2011
Haha! Love it. I wrote about my family’s tendency to spew insults wrapped in compliments to the point where you are always pretty sure someone is making fun of you. One of my readers coined the term “complisults” to simplify. The best one I’ve gotten is from my mom. After discussing my new exercise routine she said, “Your fingers. Your fingers are super skinny”. I’ll take it!
The Good Greatsby
April 15, 2011
I like the term “complisults”. I wish I’d been aware of the term before writing this post.
monicastangledweb
April 15, 2011
I wouldn’t know about back-handed compliments as I’ve never been on the receiving end of one of them. But how lucky you are! You must get them all the time!
The Good Greatsby
April 15, 2011
Way to go, Monica. You’ve put me in my place, back-hand style.
The Mommy
April 15, 2011
hmmmm….maybe my family has been back-handed insulting me all these years…
with loving me smiles they always tell me I am “wired just a little differently”….
The Good Greatsby
April 15, 2011
“Wired just a little differently” falls under the same category as “free spirit” or “march to the beat of your own drummer”. They’re trying to say they disapprove of your choices in a nice way.
justjotter
April 15, 2011
“I thought of you as I was cleaning out the cat box this afternoon. Reminded me of that perfume you used to wear.”
PS: Both my grandfathers and my all time best boss were Pauls. You are the funniest.
The Good Greatsby
April 15, 2011
I’ll accept that compliment, even though it comes on back-handed compliment day and I’m trying to be extra cautious.
gojulesgo
April 15, 2011
I love this post, Paul! It’s almost as good as yesterday’s.
The Good Greatsby
April 15, 2011
Sounds like you’ve got the back-handed compliment down.
gojulesgo
April 15, 2011
Ha! I’m surprised no one has mentioned the Most Popular Back-handed Compliment. Adding “It’s so much better than what you had before” to ANYTHING. Most often applied to haircuts and boyfriends.
ajg
April 15, 2011
What about when your sister doesn’t invite you to her birthday party because she thought it would be, “too much fun”? I always thought she was protecting me from dangerous amounts of fun, but now I don’t know.
The Good Greatsby
April 15, 2011
Sounds like your sister was just being mean, not necessarily giving you a back-handed compliment, although I have heard you’re prone to taking off your shirt if you have “too much fun”.
Sandi
April 15, 2011
How about those people that smile and NICELY say a bold face jab or something generic like:
“That sure IS somethin'” (nicey/nice *big smiles)
“Wow, look at that shirt.” (so pleasantly said, as if they might want one)
Or…the indirect things said to the children- these kind are always awesome:
“At grandma’s house, we sit the entire meal.” (emphasis on Grandma)
“You know, grandma has rules” (yes, mom, I don’t let them stand on the furniture either or run out into the street)
But my favs are the ones where they think they are being quiet, they don’t intend you to overhear, but don’t care if you do…my mother in law
“She needs to do this…, she needs to do that…, she made me so mad when…” bad mouthing you to another person, um hello, I can hear you?
Sandi
http://www.ahhsome.wordpress.com
The Good Greatsby
April 15, 2011
Maybe not back-handed compliments, but definitely obnoxious and mostly meaningless.
MarkH
April 15, 2011
Not sure if this fits but it kept popping into my head as I read the post and comments.
My dad once said, “You know Mark, I don’t know what I would do if one of my sons was gay.” followed by an inquisitive stare. Maybe it fits because it was a comment the person thought was a sneaky way to make a potentially damaging observation.
Turns out I’m not gay and my dad is just from another generation where an opposite-sex-shy teenager with friends equals gay. Not that there’s anything Seinfeld with that.
The Good Greatsby
April 16, 2011
Are you sure he was warning you not to become gay? Sounds more like he was encouraging you by wondering aloud what he would do if you were gay. Maybe he’s bored and could use a little excitement.
Don't Make That Face
April 15, 2011
Funny. I don’t think I’ve ever received a back-handed compliment. Let me think. My husband says I’m a sweetheart, when I’m not being an a-hole. My mom thinks my blog is funny, if you get my kind of humor. My son once told me he’s so happy to have a such a great mom, and not a hot cougar mom like his friend Dylan.
Dylan’s mom is a slut.
The Good Greatsby
April 16, 2011
Aren’t you glad you’re not a hot cougar slut like Dylan’s mom?
Spectra
April 16, 2011
Love it!
I learn SO MUCH here. Too bad that was unintentional on your part.
educlaytion
April 15, 2011
“That’s really interesting” is a nice way to not tell people how stupid they just sounded. Also try “There’s certainly a lot of people who feel the same way” when you want to be nice about the fact that the person speaking to you is just like all the other stupid people in the world.
The Good Greatsby
April 16, 2011
I wish you hadn’t told me those. You’ve made me realize my wife doesn’t find me half as interesting as I thought.
Invisible Mikey
April 16, 2011
You’ve shaved your head! I know plenty of people who should do that.
(Why didn’t they tell me five years before, when the bald spot first came in and I began looking like Bozo’s Grampa?)
The Good Greatsby
April 16, 2011
People tell you your thinning hair looks fine, and then you finally shave it and they say how glad they are you finally cut it all off. Why didn’t they tell you earlier? What else aren’t they telling you?
bridgesburning
April 16, 2011
A few years ago someone I had not seen for a few months said, ” Wow you look great! You carry that extra weight so well!”
marryin'thelibrarian
April 16, 2011
I hope said person was not in the friend category. Really, do a few extra pounds look good on me? Hmmm… If it did, you wouldn’t call it “extra” weight, now would you?
pegoleg
April 16, 2011
Congrats on the FP! I can remember how exciting it is the first time.
pegoleg
April 16, 2011
Just noticed my comment is dated 4/16, and it is not even noon on 4/15. Do you get your own time zone now? GMT?
The Good Greatsby
April 16, 2011
The US government has given me a secret 25th timezone. It constantly changes so don’t set your watch by it.
pegoleg
April 16, 2011
Good for you, but… (discreet head jerking in direction of back-handed compliment located above time zone comment)
lexy3587
April 16, 2011
I got this one quite recently: after telling me all about the many guys who are mooning over her (because she’s a bit of a tease), despite her wanting to just be friends (with cuddles! and lots and lots of one-on-one time!), and her having a boyfriend, my ‘friend’ looks at me and goes, “Why does this always happen to me? You are SO lucky that this kind of thing NEVER happens to you.”
… Well, since you’re not a troll-beast like me, you’ll just have to suffer through it *shakes head sad/disgustedly*
Great post! *sincerely!*
The Good Greatsby
April 16, 2011
Your friend sounds terrible.
lexy3587
April 16, 2011
Yeeeahhh… it’s unfortunate, but she’s one of those people who falls into the category of ‘I’ve known you for SO long … and don’t really understand how we became friends to begin with… and you know where I live… and you might genuinely not realise how offensive you are.’
Luckily, most of the people I encounter either aren’t backhanded complimenting me, or are doing so in such a devious way that I haven’t noticed it 😛
corzgalore
April 16, 2011
I’ve had the one Lexy has, alot. But it comes from my sister. What are you going to do?
I also get this one alot, “You’re so unique. There is no one else like you.”
On the one hand, everyone is always searching to be original that it could be a compliment, yet it makes me feel lonely when people say it. So I’m the only freaking person out there who understands why I do what I do?
infinite monkey theorem
April 16, 2011
Yea, these charm school drop outs are dead common. As Madtante points out, there can be a regional component to how “underground” a person feels the need to go with their insults. For many in the South, this type of verbal Judo is de rigueur. While still mere tadpoles, we are instructed that to express certain sentiments in a forthright manner is “ugly”. As a consequence, we all learn to produce our little criticisms couched in false innocence and sincerity…bless our hearts! (Of course, everyone KNOWS this, and responds in kind. We are de facto, being “ugly”, but the method makes mama proud, so we persist.) lol. Funny blog entry…for reelz!
carldagostino
April 16, 2011
What a delightful dress. What did your mother make out of the rest of the curtains?
marryin'thelibrarian
April 16, 2011
I’ve had this one! If anyone says, “What a cute outfit. Did you make it yourself?” regardless of the clothing’s creator, your first task of the evening should be to burn said outfit.
spilledinkguy
April 16, 2011
The Kool-Aid man ‘complimented’ me with No. 7 once.
After reducing an exterior wall to rubble and shouting, ‘OH, YEAH!’
He’s clearly not as sweet as they say.
🙂
Todd Pack
April 16, 2011
“You’ve shown so much improvement!” (What, you’re saying I wasn’t any good before?)
fnkybee
April 16, 2011
Fantabulous! 🙂
JuneClaire
April 16, 2011
(after a smart and amusing one-liner)
“Ha ha ha, that’s really funny. Where did you hear that?”
The Good Greatsby
April 16, 2011
I used to say that to my little brother all the time, but I wasn’t intending to be mean. It’s just that he was often quoting something from a movie or TV show, and he would get annoyed when I didn’t realize the times he was saying something original.
Margie
April 16, 2011
Your husband tells me you are a great stay-at-home mom. Must be nice not to have to work…
Julie
April 16, 2011
This post makes me want to try going an entire day speaking only in backhanded compliments, true or not. CAN IT BE DONE? I’m not sure my students would like hearing that grading their compositions gave me a nice couple of hours off from thinking…
Renee Davies
April 16, 2011
Backhanded Compliment:
Wow. I don’t care what anyone says, you’re funny.
Grey Area Compliment:
You’re really funny (said blandly with no expression, which invariably means that you’re funny in the head).
Not a Compliment:
My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die.
The Good Greatsby
April 16, 2011
All excellent examples. I actually use a version of your back-handed compliment a lot, “I don’t care what everyone else is saying…”, but people know I’m joking…I hope.
japecake
April 16, 2011
Kool-aid has too much sugar.
This one went over very badly in Jonestown.
japecake
April 16, 2011
This post really lived up to your blog name. Especially “the.”
The Good Greatsby
April 16, 2011
Nobody else caught that. Thanks for noticing the effort I put in to work the blog name into my posts.
The Good Greatsby
April 16, 2011
Thanks for noticing. A lot of people miss the clever ways I integrate the blog name into the post titles.
japecake
April 16, 2011
Actually, it was a backhanded compliment, poorly worded. What I should have said was, “This post really lived up to ‘The Good Greatsby.’ Especially ‘The.’ ” That’s what you call a backhanded compliment with top spin. Or an utter failure.
michaelskelley
April 16, 2011
“i love those pants Do they come in your size?” A simple masterpiece.
shreejacob
April 16, 2011
Loved the post! I’m sure I’ve received many of those back handed compliments, but most of the time I’m just too “blur” (or dumb) to catch it, so it goes over my head and I smile and nod and it has no effect on me, which I think is the most important thing. Imagine all that energy and creative juice wasted on thinking up a back handed compliment and it goes to waste.
How do I know this? Because close friends of mine back when I was in Uni used to scold me for not reacting to them!!
Here is one that is so common in Malaysia: “You must be so happy with you life / marriage / job, you look bigger”…now for this one I want to gut them and hang them out to dry, but I guess back handed insults like this isn’t an excuse for murder I suppose.
Binky
April 16, 2011
Despite what others say, I think your blog is reasonably humorous.
laurenrantnrave
April 16, 2011
You look nice today!
Laura
April 16, 2011
This is related to #6, but just about any mention of bravery that doesn’t refer to an actual act of heroism:
“You’re so brave! I could never have rescued all those people from that burning building!” – probably sincere.
“You’re so brave! I could never wear something like that!” – probably not.
Laura
April 16, 2011
Also — I can see you worked really hard on today’s post.
Chauncy
April 16, 2011
One of your better posts.
Coco's Vanity Cards
April 16, 2011
that happened to me yesterday, shreejacob! i don’t get most of the dutch back-handed compliments so i just smile and nod…a (real) friend came up to me afterward and said that i pissed off the guy ‘cuz it was no fun back-handing me if i didn’t get it anyway.
luv the post, even tough it wasn’t freshly pressed 😉
Danuté
April 16, 2011
A couple of years ago when I lived in the states, I went shopping for a Halloween costume. So i was just walking around, checking what they have aaaand then this lady literally came running to me from across the store and went like OH HOLY MOLY I LOVE YOU SKIRT, WHICH COSTUME IS THAT?! well… it actually wasn’t a costume, but a skirt I bought in Paris for way more then I could afford. AUCH.
Don’t think it was a backhanded compliment per se, but oh boy it really felt like so.
Massively great job with your blog by the way!
frigginloon
April 16, 2011
I like your top, did you make it yourself?
Great cake, was it Betty Crockers or Duncan Hines?
The Good Greatsby
April 16, 2011
Both classics.
Tom (Aquatom1968)
April 16, 2011
“Can you close the door on your way out?”… I’m not sure there’s a compliment in there, but there is a message…
Calhoun
April 17, 2011
I’m wary of most carefully selected adjectives.
Example:
“Oh, well, that’s certainly a colorful outfit” or “That’s an interesting way of seeing it”
Okay, I’m guilty of using that last one as a polite way of saying “You’re wrong. I know it may be a matter of opinion, but you’re wrong”
The Good Greatsby
April 17, 2011
“That’s an interesting way of seeing it.”
I get that one a lot.
Ironic Mom
April 17, 2011
My husband and I play “Damning with faint praise.” Which goes to show you how weird our relationship is.
Here are a few:
That’s a nice coat for a homeless person.
That’s a fantastic watch, Bob. Do they sell men’s jewelry there?
That’s a great piece of writing. Did William (our six year old) help you?
When we both worked at an international school in Thailand, we were out at the staff Christmas party. Our boss said to my husband, “How did a guy like you get a girl like Leanne?”
Nice.
But kind of fun.
The Good Greatsby
April 17, 2011
I tell my wife: You look classy enough to be a senator or maybe a senator’s mistress.
Rachael Black
April 17, 2011
I believe that the FIRST and ORIGINAL back-handed compliment (I am pretty certain that this appears in the Old Testament and therefore an edict for Jews, Christians and Muslims ) is the scripture that is uttered t by your 13 year old: ‘Now don’t take this the wrong way but…”
The Good Greatsby
April 17, 2011
As soon as I hear “Don’t take this the wrong way” or “No offense” my take-it-the-wrong-way radar starts beeping.
judithhb
April 18, 2011
Having downsized from a larger family home to a small turn of the last century cottage a friend keeps telling me – “it’s small but really all you need” insert at your vast age.
subWOW
April 19, 2011
Thank you so much for this enlightening post. As a non-native speaker, I have struggled with the term “Backhanded compliment”: does it mean a compliment that is actually an insult in disguise? (e.g. “you run fast, for someone like you”) or is it a compliment in the form of an insult? Now I know it is the former, and I need to go have a word with my co-worker right now.
the master
April 19, 2011
“You know, that’s actually quite impressive from this angle.”
That wasn’t said to me, by the way.
thoughtsappear
April 20, 2011
“Kool-aid has too much sugar.”—Not possible.
Val Erde
April 23, 2011
Great post. 😦
(See – it can be done with emoticons too!)
The Good Greatsby
April 23, 2011
That might be my favorite back-handed compliment.
Erica
April 24, 2011
Here’s one I get on my blog all the time: “I love reading your posts– they make me feel better about my own life!”
judithhb
April 24, 2011
OMG – these back handed compliments are never ending. I am becoming wary of any compliment now.
Yahooey
April 25, 2011
They’re everywhere and they’re out to get you! 😀 The most insidious are the unintentional backhands – the Freudian slips.
stuffnjsays
June 19, 2012
“You’re smarter than you look.”
kilolson
July 13, 2012
The most back-handed award in little league: Most Improved.
Not only does it say, “You used to really suck,” but it also doesn’t say that you are good. It just says that you don’t suck as much as you used to suck.
michellenwin
February 5, 2014
Too true. It’s like, do I smile and say thanks because I don’t suck as much anymore, or do I sulk and cry because I used to really suck?
Monica
September 22, 2012
My personal favorite? You have such a pretty face…
Al
February 5, 2013
How about this one:
That’s a great post. Is there anything else to read?
MissPriss
April 27, 2013
A classmate informed me that we had had another course together in our first semester. I said that I didn’t know for sure. He said he knew it was me because “there aren’t too many people like you.”
I figured it was because I contribute to the discussion a lot in class (maybe too much). Not sure. It irked me for about a week. He was such a friendly guy. Now I can’t define what: “like me” means…good or bad? [I decided to hope for good and let it go, obviously that isn’t working ;)]
CJ
May 5, 2013
Is this kind of odd: “I am grateful to see someone like you care the way you care for your precious daughter.” (Someone like you) is that back-handed??
pmahaney
May 24, 2013
Inspired! One of your best roughs yet Paul. When you work out the bugs I guarantee this is headed for Freshly Pressed.
Michele
May 29, 2013
You are beautiful, to me. This is what my boyfriend said to me the other night. Is he saying he’s the only person in the world who would find me beautiful?
Angie
June 16, 2013
I had a dress on and my husbands mom said ooohhh your showing your legs..then she looks me up and down and stated and said she always wanted big legs and big hips..I was stunned…then she said with those white legs! I was totally offended and told my mom about it. Would that have offended any of you?
kathy
September 8, 2013
My sister in law said to me,” you’ve lost so much weight!”She asks her brother (my husband) “why has she lost so much weight?” He looks at me and says “no she hasn’t!” My sister in law insisting,” yes she has!” With that my husband says” I don’t know,must be from all the beer.” WTF!? BTW, this was at my Mom’s funeral!
Sandy
May 5, 2015
How about, “Did you lighten your hair?”
Marjan
December 9, 2015
How about..”you’re so casual and for a (insert nationality) so simple. You don’t dress up. Why are you getting upset? It’s not a bad thing.
Denise Rhodes
August 19, 2016
“You still look good, I don’t care what anybody says, don’t believe them.”
April
April 14, 2017
How about this one? “Your butt is not unnecessarily large.” Yet other times he’s raving over my curves and my booty. Or” you look sexier” (since I recently dropped a few pounds)
GingerAle
October 14, 2019
“Your daughter is beautiful, I know you’re her mom but she’s SO beautiful.”
Abruptly asks “what cup size are you.” Answers: “After giving birth I’m a small C.” “Oh nice so they’re not D’s, mine are double D’s.”