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Paul Johnson's comedy blog: I didn't get into comedy to be rich or famous. All I've ever wanted was to be loved…by somebody rich and famous.
Browsing All posts tagged under »family«
The Fonz Celebrates His Birthday by Pausing for Breath
My youngest son The Fonz recently celebrated his ninth birthday. The last year witnessed him achieving numerous milestones such as working up the nerve to ask his crush’s name then forgetting it immediately; going an entire week without putting any of his clothes on backwards; and for the first time pausing for breath and giving […]
Dream a Little Dream for Me…Or Else
March 1, 2013
My 11-year-old recently asked me, “When I was little did you have any dreams for what you wanted me to be when I grew up?” I thought about his question for a moment before answering, “I always dreamed you’d grow up to be the president’s son.” There are still so many things I want to […]
It Takes Two to Tangle
February 13, 2013
When people ask me what’s the best part of being a parent, I answer, ‘Mind your own business.’ I prefer to avoid parenting conversations because I don’t want to admit the thing I like best about my two children is all the excuses they provide. ‘I wish we could help you move, but we don’t […]
Thank You for Inviting Us to Dinner: Please Be Aware of the Following Dietary Restrictions
January 30, 2013
Thank you again for your gracious dinner invitation. My family and I look forward to attending tomorrow. As I mentioned on the phone my family has a few small dietary restrictions you should be aware of when preparing your menu. We’re vegetarians. Mostly. We’ll only eat meat under extraordinary circumstances. Like revenge. All dairy is […]
Vacationing with the Greatsbys
December 26, 2012
The Greatsbys spent Christmas in Phuket, Thailand. After dinner with friends, Mrs. Greatsby and the children retired and I spent a lovely Christmas Eve evening on our hotel balcony overlooking the dark ocean while enjoying the distant strains of house bands entertaining Christmas Eve galas all over the island. A little known fact about Asia: […]
An Interview with Optimist Prime–Part 3
December 4, 2012
My 11-year-old son Optimist Prime has enjoyed a recent run of success as both the QB of his football team and the star of a theatrical production of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. We’re anxious to have him around more as these two commitments often totaled seven to eight practices/rehearsals a week, and […]
Greetings from a Mediocre Uncle
November 30, 2012
One of the benefits of living here in China so far away from my extended family in the United States is that I have an excuse for being a terrible uncle. Although I suspect my family is beginning to realize even if I lived next door to my nieces and nephews I’d still be a […]
Will Trade Time with Kids for Comedy Material
November 20, 2012
My librarian wife went out of town for work last weekend, leaving me alone with the kids and providing more evidence of how libraries tear families part. I told the kids if I was going to spend twice as much time with them in their mother’s absence, they would have to work harder to provide […]
Jealousy Thy Name is Parent
October 23, 2012
If there’s one thing I like about being a parent, that wouldn’t be much of a recommendation for parenthood, would it? But if there’s one thing I like, it’s taking joy in the achievements of my children as an emotional substitute for my own lack of accomplishments. I’m not the first parent to make this […]
In with the In Crowd–Or Else!
October 8, 2012
Our two sons recently began a new school year at a new school and while taking a walk yesterday my 11-year-old Optimist Prime told me how much he was enjoying the new group of friends he’d made. OP: I really like my new friends. They’re really interesting and creative and do stuff with their lives. […]
Did You Know? Did You Know? Did You Know?
September 26, 2012
My 8-year-old The Fonz is a perpetual source of non-sequiturs, interrupting conversation with sound bytes varying from the funny, “Why go to Mount Everest when you can see the top from Google Earth? It’s the same thing,” to the philosophically bizarre, “Did you know if your shadow was three-dimensional, it would open a black hole?” […]
The Greatsbys Get Moving
September 3, 2012
We moved house over the weekend. We’d lived in the same house for three years and on the same street for seven, but it made more sense for us to move to another part of Shanghai after the kids recently changed schools and my wife changed jobs. Also, we’d already exhausted the neighborhood of people […]
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April 29, 2013
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