Our two sons recently began a new school year at a new school and while taking a walk yesterday my 11-year-old Optimist Prime told me how much he was enjoying the new group of friends he’d made.
OP: I really like my new friends. They’re really interesting and creative and do stuff with their lives.
Me: When you say they do stuff with their lives, what do you mean?
OP: They’re creating stuff. They’re not all computery. They read and write and do those sort of things.
Me: That’s great. I’m glad you’ve made so many new friends.
OP: They’re more interesting than the popular kids. The popular kids are on Skype like twelve hours a day.
Me: I’m sorry, what?
OP: The popular kids are okay, but my friends are more interesting than the popular kids.
Me: Are you saying your friends aren’t the popular kids?
OP: They’re not unpopular. They’re just not the most popular.
Me: Wait a second. Wait a second. I thought your friends were the popular kids.
OP: I know the popular kids. I’m friends with them but I don’t hang out with them. I could hang out with them if I wanted.
Me: Then you should! You definitely should!
OP: They’re just not as fun.
Me: Maybe they’ll seem more fun once you get to know them. Give them a chance!
OP: I could hang out with them if I wanted to.
Me: Prove it!
OP: I really could.
Me: Prove it!
OP: My friends are cooler than the popular kids.
Me: I doubt it. I really doubt it.
OP: I think they are.
Me: Do you understand the definition of ‘cool’?
OP: No comment.
Me: How could your friends be the coolest kids and not be the popular kids? If your friends were the coolest they’d be the most popular.
OP: They’re really cool to me.
Me: Maybe your ‘cool’ detector is broken.
OP: They’re not unpopular. They’re just not the most popular.
Me: I think it’s great that you’ve found some new friends but I’m going to give you a choice: You can either make friends with the popular kids or you can find a way to turn your unpopular friends into the popular kids. What’s it going to be?
…..
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The Good Greatsby 
on thehomefrontandbeyond
October 8, 2012
I think you have a very “together” son
The Good Greatsby
October 8, 2012
He can be as ‘together’ as he wants just as long as he gets results.
S. Trevor Swenson
October 8, 2012
Dear GG. Dont encourage OP or The Fonz to hang out with people who are peaking at their age.
The Good Greatsby
October 8, 2012
But what if my kids are also peaking at this age? I want them to share the perks of peaking with the other peakers.
S. Trevor Swenson
October 8, 2012
Just shut up and listen to me. I don’t have children, so naturally I have the most sage advice regarding children
She's a Maineiac
October 8, 2012
I think OP is onto something here. These days being a dork is considered cool. Unpopular is popular. It’s like when George Costanza had “opposite day” and people started to really like him. “Hi, my name is George, I’m unemployed and I live with my parents.”
The Good Greatsby
October 8, 2012
I told him what you said about dorks being cool but he didn’t seem as flattered as I expected.
She's a Maineiac
October 8, 2012
He’s way too clever for his own good. I wonder who he gets that from?
The Good Greatsby
October 8, 2012
But I’m at a loss as to where he gets the dork from.
She's a Maineiac
October 8, 2012
Uh……well…..ahem…
Hey! Congrats on 3,000 followers, G! Yeah!!
Kathryn McCullough
October 8, 2012
Really wise 11-year-old.
The Good Greatsby
October 8, 2012
I don’t know where he gets it.
Soma Mukherjee
October 8, 2012
Oh i love your Son he is cool and my favourite now..its always better to have cool friends popular or not..popularity may change and/or fizzle out but cool quotent takes you places..its something which one is born with…let him be with cool ones
The Good Greatsby
October 8, 2012
I’m getting much less support of my point of view than I expected.
Hippie Cahier
October 8, 2012
Maybe if you score one of those Skype addresses, you could handle this for him, freeing him to go hang out and do stuff with his life.
The Good Greatsby
October 8, 2012
I feel bad that I always discouraged him from using Skype too much. I had no idea the cool kids were using Skype.
Jackie Cangro
October 8, 2012
My nephew just confirmed this.
What happens is that a bunch of cool kids get together and Skype or Oovoo together. (Oovoo is the Skype for the super cool kids.) Then they… here’s the exciting part… watch each other play video games.
Don’t even ask why they don’t get together in person to play video games because then your nephew will roll his eyes and shake his head like you’re the uncoolest person on the planet.
ajg
October 8, 2012
He’ll have to use that money he was going to spend on a telescope on a suede dress for that almost popular girl he likes.
The Good Greatsby
October 8, 2012
He has no idea how much trouble being unpopular will bring him down the road.
jomaidment
October 8, 2012
Cool son … wish more people thought like him
mimijk
October 8, 2012
Whatever are you going to do with an eleven year old who prefers kids who are not trying to be Max Headroom. kids who read and write (with pens? really?) Alarms are going off in my head – this poor child may be destined for greatness. Then what?
The Good Greatsby
October 8, 2012
But writing by hand will probably disappear in another ten years and he’ll be the only person in his age group not proficient in texting.
mimijk
October 8, 2012
DIdn’t you hear? In ten years, the pendulum will have swung back, texting will be passe and writing will be the new in thing. He’s actually ahead of his time.
The Good Greatsby
October 9, 2012
I hadn’t heard that. I’m switching to pens today. I’ve actually been considering a typewriter. Is that cool again?
Ahmnodt Heare
October 8, 2012
The problem with hanging out with popular kids is that nobody over 21 is popular. Hanging out with writers will help OP when he needs help with term papers.
The Good Greatsby
October 8, 2012
Are you saying I’m not popular? Because I feel like I’ve got a lot of wisdom about the importance of being popular for someone who’s supposedly not popular.
dianasschwenk
October 8, 2012
haha! Thank God there are still good parents like you out there to lead the way!
The Good Greatsby
October 8, 2012
Finally, someone takes my side.
dianasschwenk
October 8, 2012
err…yes…I’m taking your side! 😉
Jorie
October 8, 2012
Hahaha. But wait a minute; these popular kids hang out on Skype? Is that the new thing?!
The Good Greatsby
October 9, 2012
I guess this is bad news for the mall.
Jorie
October 9, 2012
What if they went to the mall, and then Skyped each other from various points IN the mall? Now that’s living.
The Good Greatsby
October 9, 2012
Just as long as the mall makes money. Of course teenagers never really spent any money at the mall. I haven’t been to the mall in a decade but it’s nice to know the food court is there if I ever need an Orange Julius or need to laugh at the Hot-Dog-on-a-Stick uniforms to cheer myself up.
The Byronic Man
October 8, 2012
A lucky boy that he has a wise hand to guide him. Kids. Next thing you know he’d be neglecting his video games and forgetting to come up with hilarious nicknames for the fat kids.
The Good Greatsby
October 9, 2012
He’s 11 and he still calls the fat kid ‘fatso’. Maybe I’m just idealizing my youth but it seems I could do a lot better than ‘fatso’ by 11.
susielindau
October 8, 2012
Well personally, I think OP is the coolest! I think it’s hereditary…
The Good Greatsby
October 9, 2012
He’s got more natural cool than I do. I had to work at it.
Vanessa Chapman
October 8, 2012
Have you not seen the movies? The dorky kids are the ones that end up saving the world, and even better than that, being the prom king and queen!
Also, think back to your school days, what happened to the popular kids? They ended up being a little TOO popular with the opposite sex, and were saddled with kids before they had a chance to become popular successful adults. I’ve been to school reunions, I know this is fact. The underdogs at school become the overdogs later on, and vice versa (unless you were one of the popular kids in school, in which case, there are always exceptions!).
The Good Greatsby
October 8, 2012
But none of those things happened to me. Now that I think about it, maybe I wasn’t one of the popular kids.
Snoring Dog Studio
October 8, 2012
You crack me up. Trying to live your life through your son’s, eh? Did you get beat up a lot in school? OP will be fine. Those popular kids? The chicks are all working at menial jobs and the guys have beer guts and watch sports all day long.
The Good Greatsby
October 9, 2012
It sure seems that’s the universal hope in the comments.
Snoring Dog Studio
October 10, 2012
Oh, NO! No, I’d never hope that for anyone except Mitt R. I hope your schooldays were relatively bruise-free.
joehoover
October 8, 2012
Don’t despair, I straddled the cool and the nerd demographic at school and you can use each to your own advantage. It’s a great lesson in manilpulating people to suit yourself.
The Good Greatsby
October 9, 2012
That’s good news because manipulating people is next week’s lesson.
Tar-Buns @ Here and ThereSa
October 8, 2012
I like the way your son thinks. That’s about how my K-12 years went – acquaintance with the really popular kids, but best friends were a mix of popular and regular folks. Kept any bullies away and social life was just fine.
He learned it somewhere…
The Good Greatsby
October 9, 2012
That about describes me as well. I guess I just wanted something better for my kids.
Spectra
October 9, 2012
I say he blows it all off, and becomes a Junior Crime Fighter. I haven’t heard anyone mention that adolescent Heroes get beer guts and sell radiator caps after highschool. I think he’s a natural.
List of X
October 8, 2012
Did Optimist Prime already have a talk with you about only responding to comments from the popular bloggers? If so, no need to respond. You should not set a bad example for him.
The Good Greatsby
October 9, 2012
I told him about my mathematical theorem for determining which bloggers were the most popular, although it’s been pretty disappointing in determining which bloggers are rich. I’m beginning to suspect nobody makes any money from blogging, but I know that’s a crazy idea.
List of X
October 9, 2012
I really don’t see how can anyone make money by blogging. But I can see how WordPress could make money from your blogging. That’s another conversation you could have with your sons – never take up blogging unless they become rich first.
spilledinkguy
October 9, 2012
I had a really good comment for once.
But the 90210 theme pushed it right out.
*duh dun dun dun
duh dun dun dun
psht psht…*
The Good Greatsby
October 9, 2012
I miss that show. They should do a remake.
pegoleg
October 9, 2012
Like Vanessa said, in movies the dorks end up ruling the world and on TV the cool kids learn valuable lessons about how special every one of us is.
Bwa ha ha! No, but seriously…in real life the popular kids can sniff out the not-so-popular from 50 yards away and can make their formative years sheer hell on earth. You’re a good father for wanting to help your kids learn how to do useful stuff like that.
The Good Greatsby
October 9, 2012
It’s important to at least stay in the good graces of the popular kids. They could turn on you at any time.
Life With The Top Down
October 9, 2012
Have you ever attened a school reunion? Yea, those once popular kids are usually the unrecognizable overwieght wilderbeasts at the bar, while the cool kids gather round to collect on their “told you so bets.” OP sounds like a solid kid…good to know he’s on his way to making the world a better place.
The Good Greatsby
October 9, 2012
I’ve never been to a high school reunion. I’ve never even been sent an invitation. Maybe I was too popular.
Life With The Top Down
October 9, 2012
Hahahaha…now there’s something I never had to worry about.
Audrey
October 9, 2012
Didn’t you know that being popular isn’t cool anymore? At least that’s what the hipsters say and they understand irony…
The Good Greatsby
October 9, 2012
If being popular isn’t cool anymore? Doesn’t that mean the unpopular people will become popular? Doesn’t something always have to be popular?
mistyslaws
October 9, 2012
I can’t believe you’re allowing your son to hang out with losers who do creative things! What kind of parenting skills are those, GG?
The Good Greatsby
October 9, 2012
I’m frantically working to rectify the situation.
marrymeknot
October 9, 2012
It sounds like your son isn’t taking you very seriously. Perhaps, you’ll have to get in with the popular kids. He doesn’t even have to know. Slowly work your way into their Skype circles. Brush up on your ‘Call of Duty’. Before you know it, you’ll be spending hours together, making fund of other kids, developing inside jokes. You could even have your son pass messages along to your new friends- hey, he doesn’t need to know what it means. If he’s not going to get with the ‘in’ crowd someone in your house has to…this is getting embarrassing.
The Good Greatsby
October 9, 2012
I like the way you think. I could turn the popular kids against him so he realizes how important it is to win their favor.
dearrosie
October 9, 2012
Your son’s wise! I can’t believe that if one wants to join the group of popular kids you’ve got to spend half your life on Skype? When I was 11 my friends and I had a club and we’d spend all our free time outdoors swimming, running, climbing trees, pretending we were great explorers/detectives …
The Good Greatsby
October 9, 2012
Unfortunately we don’t have the outdoors where we live.
dearrosie
October 9, 2012
What do you mean? Is it too cold or not safe?
The Good Greatsby
October 9, 2012
We live in very urban Shanghai. Yes, we do have the outdoors but grass and trees you’re allowed to climb are scarce.
Stephanie
October 9, 2012
Parent of the year award, right here.
The Good Greatsby
October 9, 2012
Are you giving me one? Does it come with cash?
Stephanie
October 9, 2012
Definitely. The cheque’s in the mail.
aparnauteur
October 9, 2012
Your son is probably watching too much Big Bang Theory, where “Smart is the new sexy”. The show sucks, but the tagline’s catchy!
The Good Greatsby
October 9, 2012
Agreed.
F3WSINC
October 9, 2012
Reblogged this on F3WSINC.
vbholmes
October 9, 2012
I think your pro-cool-kids-anti-creative-kids stand is a tongue-and-cheek attempt to get a few backs up and spike a lively debate.
The Good Greatsby
October 9, 2012
I’d never admit to that.
ajg
October 9, 2012
That guy doesn’t know you very well.
Mental Wanderlust King
October 9, 2012
That’s a fair proposal. Gotta learn he can’t have it both ways, doesn’t he?
The Good Greatsby
October 9, 2012
It’s better if he learns that lesson now.
Mental Wanderlust King
October 9, 2012
It sticks better when they are young. I get ya.
zannyro
October 9, 2012
I’m going to go back to your conversation with S. Trevor Swenson…..I would rethink that bit where you’re announcing to the world that you want your son to be a peaker…that could be taken totally the wrong way, and then you would have to explain that you didn’t mean a “peeker”……just a peaker. If they don’t buy your explanation, then…;I can’t wait to read what you post from your jail cell…
The Good Greatsby
October 9, 2012
I must be more naive than I thought because I still don’t know what would be wrong with being a ‘peeker’. Couldn’t a peeker be a nickname for someone who is always trying to peek and see their Christmas presents before Christmas?
zannyro
October 9, 2012
Oh well…if you’re talking about THAT kind of peeker……
frigginloon
October 9, 2012
At least OP’s friends aren’t on MySpace. You can’t get back to cool from there 😦
frigginloon
October 9, 2012
EVER!!!!
The Good Greatsby
October 9, 2012
Gulp. I was on MySpace for about five minutes. What does that mean?
Laura
October 9, 2012
The popular kids are the computery ones? I suddenly feel very, very old.
The Good Greatsby
October 9, 2012
I feel moderately capable on a computer, much more computery than my obviously uncool wife.
lazylauramaisey
October 9, 2012
Tsk. Kids, eh? They just don’t understand about how to prioritize. Which option is OP pursuing?
The Good Greatsby
October 9, 2012
His only response was an eye-roll. Kind of hard to read.
lazylauramaisey
October 9, 2012
Ah. The eye roll. That old chestnut, hey? You’ve got a handful with that one, I can tell.
kathrinjapan
October 9, 2012
I have similar “dreams” for my son. Sometimes I wonder if “cool” back in our day is different than “cool” today.
The Good Greatsby
October 9, 2012
I know you’re on my side. I still remember your comment about teaching your son that it’s more important to look good than feel good. I’ve tried to instill those values in my son but they just don’t seem to be sticking.
itsnotjustmeright
October 9, 2012
We made them cool kids and then they started thinking for themselves – damn you kids of today, we set you up with some so so morals and you take a mile!
The Good Greatsby
October 9, 2012
I tried to teach my kids that it’s only cool to not be in with the in crowd if you’ve exhaustive all opportunities to be in the in crowd.
bluebee
October 9, 2012
Smart OP – he’s onto one of the secrets of life
Mark Petruska
October 10, 2012
I thought the popular kids had all switched to Facetime. Or is that the cool kids? I’m so confused…
The Good Greatsby
October 10, 2012
I still insist the cool kids are the popular kids. If the popular kids aren’t cool, how did they become popular? And if the unpopular kids are so cool, why aren’t they more popular?
Michelle Gillies
October 10, 2012
The boy is brilliant. The student has just become the teacher…so pay attention.
Go Jules Go
October 10, 2012
Damn. I thought this post was going to be about 90210. Your blog would probably be a lot more popular if it was.
😉
The Good Greatsby
October 10, 2012
I’m considering starting a second blog completely dedicated to 90210.
Binky
October 10, 2012
Your kid is crazy! Cool is where it’s at. At least until they’re teenagers, and then well, oh, never mind.
cooper
October 10, 2012
why not encourage OP to audition for Jersey Shore as well….
Barb
October 11, 2012
Have him write a book. He’ll make more than Bill Gates and we all know how nerdy Bill is.