My 11-year-old recently asked me, “When I was little did you have any dreams for what you wanted me to be when I grew up?” I thought about his question for a moment before answering, “I always dreamed you’d grow up to be the president’s son.”
There are still so many things I want to accomplish in life and I can’t spare any of my dream energy to focus on his dreams, so I don’t see why the two of us can’t share the same mutually beneficial dream. Every night before he goes to bed I tell him one of my dreams for him.
I dream you’ll grow up to be the type of person who can accomplish anything…because of the large inheritance you receive from your parents.
I dream you’ll grow up to be a starting quarterback in college…because the stadium is named after your father.
If you choose to become an actor, I dream you’ll grow up to make it on your own without having to use the Hollywood connections your father made when he crashed Zooey Deschanel’s wedding.
I dream girls will love you for your personality and not just because they expect you to grow even handsomer as you age, just like your dad.
I dream you’ll be invited to all the best parties, because those parties take place at your parents’ lakeside mansion.
I dream you’ll win an Academy Award for starring in a movie about your dad.
I dream you’ll always take good care of your little brother and possibly give him a job, so he doesn’t try moving back in with your parents.
I dream you’ll be able to experience the joys of travel and some day visit all thirty countries where your dad has been slapped by a beautiful woman.
I dream you’ll discover the cure for cancer…in your dad’s high-fives.
The Good Greatsby 
dianasschwenk
March 1, 2013
Hey I would vote for you as president…if I lived in the States…but I don’t…so…yeah
The Good Greatsby
March 1, 2013
I appreciate the gesture, however miniscule it might be.
susielindau
March 1, 2013
The only dream I am confused by is the last one. Why are you dreaming of being slapped by beautiful women in 30 countries. Youch! They may leave a mark!
The Good Greatsby
March 1, 2013
I’m just as confused as you are.
georgettesullins
March 1, 2013
I think your 11 year old son is on his way. Our president wrote “Dreams from My Father”, your son could have “Dreams from My Father II”.written way before he becomes president.
The Good Greatsby
March 1, 2013
I would love to take credit for giving him the idea to write that book.
Jennwith2ns
March 1, 2013
It’s entirely possible you are being mentally slapped by all those women right now, after that (hilarious) foray into blatant egotism.
The Good Greatsby
March 2, 2013
I did feel a bit of a sting as soon as I pressed ‘publish.’
She's a Maineiac
March 3, 2013
So it’s settled then–Greatsby for Prez!
Curly Carly
March 1, 2013
I would vote for you as President, too. If there’s one thing the White House is missing, it’s humor. I’ve had it with all this seriousness.
The Good Greatsby
March 1, 2013
I agree. If they’re not going to get anything done they might as well make it entertaining.
Tar-Buns
March 2, 2013
Here, Here! I’m all for that!
ellynvv
March 1, 2013
I, too, support Greatsby for president. We may be on to something here…
The Good Greatsby
March 2, 2013
I’m forming a presidential campaign exploratory committee and the easiest way to prove your support is by donating money.
josefkul
March 1, 2013
According to Chuck Norris facts the cure for cancer is in his tears. Since Chuck Norris never cries, it’s good to know there is a backup in the palm sweat of your high fives.
The Good Greatsby
March 2, 2013
I can’t quite explain the science behind it so I hope Chuck Norris doesn’t ask me any questions.
Tor Constantino, MBA (@torcon)
March 1, 2013
To be clear, is it ONLY high-fives involving The Good Greatsby that could cure cancer? Have you considered the possibility of other therapeutic indications such as the off chance that your hand-shadow puppets might cure Mange or a G2 hand jive could rectify a scorching case of Dutch Elm disease?
The Good Greatsby
March 1, 2013
I’m open to all possibilities. I’ll get my son working on the scientific research.
JM Randolph
March 1, 2013
I’m stealing your dream that he’ll always take good care of his little brother and possibly give him a job so that he doesn’t move back in with his parents, and I’m superimposing it upon all my kids (with proper pronoun agreement).
The Good Greatsby
March 2, 2013
But you’ve got so many kids don’t you worry at least one will need to move back home?
angelajardine
March 1, 2013
Is egotism the new fashion in parenting? Damn, and I’d just managed to lose my ego by being a Buddhist. Do you know how many years it took me to do that!!!!!
Okay, so better start and grow one another. Luckily the kids are all growed up and brain surgeons and rocket scientists in their own right (I made that last bit up – sadly). Still … there is a possibility they might write a Pulitzer prize winner about me … or not
The Good Greatsby
March 2, 2013
I thought egotism in parenting was always in fashion. Otherwise I’m not sure I would have had children.
joehoover
March 1, 2013
Can you clarify: The cure will be found in the high fives or can you get cancer of the high fives? I’ve never high-fived before so I probably shouldn’t start if that’s the case, but I’m always susceptible to peer pressure.
The Good Greatsby
March 2, 2013
How have you never high-fived? High-fives are the only reason I even attend sporting events; otherwise, I’d stay home.
Miss Lydia
March 2, 2013
Your next endeavor should be a babysitting service. I would hire you.
The Good Greatsby
March 2, 2013
I can’t guarantee the kids I babysit will receive the same level of dreaming attention. I can guarantee a certain amount of daydreaming during the time I’m supposed to be watching them.
Mark Petruska
March 2, 2013
You’re angling for a role in the sequel, “(501) Days of Summer,” aren’t you?
The Good Greatsby
March 4, 2013
It doesn’t even need to be an acting role; I’d be willing to accept a role as Ms. Deschanel’s personal assistant.
philosophermouseofthehedge
March 2, 2013
Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree…and it can bonk you on the head.
(what ever any of that means)
Dreamy post
The Good Greatsby
March 4, 2013
It’s reassuring to learn the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree because I’m not anywhere near any apple trees but I’m still wearing a helmet just to be safe.
theprodigalkid
March 2, 2013
Reblogged this on The Prodigal Kid and commented:
Wow
composerinthegarden
March 2, 2013
Now that’s positive thinking – I think I will try writing a few of these!
The Good Greatsby
March 4, 2013
You might be surprised by how much inspiration you find.
pegoleg
March 2, 2013
Isn’t that a coincidence – I dreamt your son grew up, got a large inheritance from his father and gave it to me.
The Good Greatsby
March 2, 2013
I’m conflicted about opposing your dream since it still leaves me covered.
thesinglecell
March 2, 2013
Can you sing? I need to hear you sing “Let’s Stay Together” before we know about this presidential asipration stuff.
The Good Greatsby
March 2, 2013
Yes, I can sing. I’ll work on a rendition and send you something.
1pointperspective
March 2, 2013
If only those beautiful women had slapped your hand instead of your ruggedly handsome face, they could have avoided cancer.
The Good Greatsby
March 2, 2013
Tragic but true.
The Guat
March 2, 2013
These are all pretty great I the one that amused me most? “I dream you’ll always take good care of your little brother and possibly give him a job, so he doesn’t try moving back in with your parents.” Ha! That’s probably because it’s what my dad told my sister 🙂 Nice post
The Good Greatsby
March 2, 2013
You’ve got to plant the seeds of sibling obligation pretty early.
flippingchannels
March 2, 2013
Fantastic dreams. It’s important to choose goals that are achievable after all!
The Good Greatsby
March 2, 2013
I won’t chase any other kind. I hate to feel let down.
Bridgesburning Chris King
March 2, 2013
Nice to plant your dreams in your offspring early on and frequently. Why these children are going to be so well brought up I am afraid you will never qualify for a reality show. (all of which I abhor.
The Good Greatsby
March 2, 2013
I also abhor reality shows, unless my kids are getting paid to be in one.
neverworrybehappy
March 2, 2013
This is really good. Good inspiration.
The Byronic Man
March 2, 2013
My hope is for my daughter to be a huge success, so maybe she can give me my big break.
The Good Greatsby
March 4, 2013
You wouldn’t be the first parent to latch onto that hope.
She's a Maineiac
March 3, 2013
Y’know…it’s great to have a dream there, G. Why do I suddenly hear Steven Tyler’s voice? “Dream on! Dream on! dream until your dreams come truuuuuuue….”
The Good Greatsby
March 4, 2013
Maybe my son and I will start listening to Steven Tyler together every night before bed.
monicastangledweb
March 3, 2013
Well, Paul, way to turn your offspring’s dream on its ear and make it your own. I hope you get all that you want and that both your sons live their lives dedicated to making you happy, only doing what’s in your best interest. Putting you over them any day. You are the sun, and they are well, just sons revolving around your every whim. Sound good?
The Good Greatsby
March 4, 2013
Well, when you put it that way I don’t come off looking very good, do I?
monicastangledweb
March 4, 2013
Are you kidding? You sound like the fun dad you are, and I’m sure your boys know by now to take everything you say with several grains of salt. 😉
The Good Greatsby
March 4, 2013
I think they’ve learned not to take anything I say seriously. This gives me a lot of leeway when it comes to teasing but does worry me in the event of a fire.
Laura
March 3, 2013
You should really think about getting a restraining order against that woman who’s been following you around to all those countries and slapping you.
Laura
March 3, 2013
Unless you’re following her, and that’s why she’s slapping you. Wait, is it Zooey Deschanel? You should probably stop following her before she gets a restraining order.
The Good Greatsby
March 4, 2013
Now that I think about it, it does seem easier to just bring a beautiful woman with me to all those countries.
Michelle Gillies
March 5, 2013
I knew there was a perfectly good reason to have children. This is the best I have heard it expressed. Oh, well, too late for me. Maybe I could adopt.
thoughtsappear
March 5, 2013
In the Academy Award movie, will your son play you?
laughatmypain
March 8, 2013
Great site! Part of my blog is also comedy, but with serious subjects too (latest one is just a review of survey sites, but that’s just a one time post). I’m following your site now and check me out at http://laughatmypain.wordpress.com/
zannyro
March 12, 2013
Has the sharing of your dreams for your son ever kept you both awake at night? Just curious 🙂
Riley Green
March 26, 2013
I love your response to your sons loopy questions. Whenever my daughter asks me things like this I tell her she’s making my head hurt and to run along. She skips happily away, it’s fun to mess with Moms head, I know that’s what she’s thinking.
marianaehdez
April 21, 2013
Reblogged this on marianaehdez's Blog.
HoaiPhai
July 4, 2013
I dream that your son takes on the responsibility of being assistant judge for a family owned and run photo caption contest.