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Paul Johnson's comedy blog: I didn't get into comedy to be rich or famous. All I've ever wanted was to be loved…by somebody rich and famous.
Browsing All posts tagged under »comedy«
Don’t Tell Me How it Ends
So I’ve been pretty busy the last week and haven’t had time to follow the American election. I recorded CNN’s election night coverage but I won’t have time to watch it until next week, so nobody tell me who won. Also, don’t tell me who won the Republican primary; I want to be surprised. Also, […]
Most Honorable Salem Town Magistrates
October 29, 2012
(Click here to listen to Paul perform the audio version) October 31, 1692 Most Honorable Salem Town Magistrates, I desireth not to grumble and air thy soiled breeches in public, and it paineth me to bring considerations to the faults of the Salem Town magistrates, but the inefficiency of the public witch-burnings driveth me up […]
The Absolute Worst Things You Could Get on Halloween
October 26, 2012
Every kid who’s ever been trick-or-treating has made a mental list of the very worst things you can get on Halloween. Even if you’re an adult and haven’t been trick-or-treating in thirty years you still remember the neighbors who gave toothbrushes at Halloween. And that’s the only thing you remember about those neighbors because nobody […]
Jealousy Thy Name is Parent
October 23, 2012
If there’s one thing I like about being a parent, that wouldn’t be much of a recommendation for parenthood, would it? But if there’s one thing I like, it’s taking joy in the achievements of my children as an emotional substitute for my own lack of accomplishments. I’m not the first parent to make this […]
Awareness Awareness Month is Just Around the Corner–Were You Aware?
October 12, 2012
If you follow America’s National Football League, you’ve probably noticed the players wearing hot pink accessories as the NFL participates in October’s campaign for breast cancer. Just to be clear, this is a campaign ‘against’ breast cancer, not ‘for’ breast cancer. And more specifically, it’s a campaign to raise ‘awareness’ of breast cancer for any […]
Situations When It’s Better to Give than Receive
October 10, 2012
At Christmas time, Mom was always fond of reminding us “It’s better to give than to receive,” but we always disagreed. With a bit more life experience I’ve realized Mom was onto something and there are in fact multiples instances when it’s far better to give than to receive. It’s better to give _____ than […]
In with the In Crowd–Or Else!
October 8, 2012
Our two sons recently began a new school year at a new school and while taking a walk yesterday my 11-year-old Optimist Prime told me how much he was enjoying the new group of friends he’d made. OP: I really like my new friends. They’re really interesting and creative and do stuff with their lives. […]
Prelude to Five People Asking for Hand Sanitizer
October 5, 2012
Are you new? Something about you seems different than the people who normally work here. I can honestly say, of all the presidential candidates I’ve ever met, you’re the first. Please tell me I’m not the only one who can see this guy. Is it just me or did a rich, white guy just appear? […]
10 Date Ideas Better Than Dinner and a Movie
October 1, 2012
‘Dinner and a Movie’ has become the standard go-to date in America. I’m surprised by its popularity, especially as a first date since a movie provides you very little opportunity to talk and get to know each other, and dinner will only start off on an embarrassing note when you can’t pronounce hors d’oeuvres. It’s […]
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