So I’ve been pretty busy the last week and haven’t had time to follow the American election. I recorded CNN’s election night coverage but I won’t have time to watch it until next week, so nobody tell me who won.
Also, don’t tell me who won the Republican primary; I want to be surprised. Also, I hope it’s not that pizza guy who harassed all those women. Also, I kind of hope it is.
I also haven’t watched the Super Bowl yet so nobody tell me who won that either, although my bookie gave me a hint by threatening to break my fingers if I didn’t pay up soon so I’m pretty sure the Patriots lost.
Also, don’t tell me how the TV show Lost ends, because I haven’t watched the last season yet. Also, don’t tell me how Lost starts, because I haven’t watched the first season either. Also, tell me where my DVD box set of Lost is, because I can’t find it. Is that ironic?
Also, don’t tell me how World War II ends. I started watching Casablanca but haven’t finished it yet. I’m looking forward to seeing Bogart and Bergman get together at the end.
Also, don’t tell me if soup is any good, because I vowed not to try it until I’m 40 so I have something to look forward to. If I understand correctly, soup is similar to regular food but with water poured on top of it, so my expectations are pretty low.
Also, don’t tell me if you ran into any of my ex-girlfriends and they seemed happy, although I wouldn’t mind hearing if they seemed unhappy.
Also, don’t tell me how the world ends. If you know, keep it to yourself, because I want to be surprised, although I wouldn’t mind a small hint like, “Tomorrow might be a good day to wear a suit.”
…..
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The Good Greatsby 
mimijk
November 7, 2012
Nothing like wasting a good outfit on an uneventful day. In terms of the election, you may want to check and see where your son is hanging out (you know, the one who continues to trump all of your accomplishments ahead of schedule). Big write in campaign last minute. Just sayin’
The Good Greatsby
November 7, 2012
I’m going to be pretty disappointed if he becomes president at a younger age than I had my first girlfriend.
mimijk
November 8, 2012
Sigh…don’t know what to tell you pal – he’s apparently quite the dude.
Ian Webster
November 7, 2012
I know! I know!
Ask me! Ask me!
The Good Greatsby
November 7, 2012
Thanks, but I’m going to wait for the movie.
mistyslaws
November 7, 2012
You should be fine. Just don’t turn on the TV or radio, look on the computer, read a newspaper (a what?), or speak to anyone for the next week. Oh, and you might wanna keep your eyes closed at all times and wear ear muffs. Just in case. Good luck!!
The Good Greatsby
November 7, 2012
I’m fine with everything except the ear muffs. I’m not sure I own any.
HoaiPhai
November 7, 2012
I wouldn’t want to spoil the outcome of the 2012 U.S. Chief Executive Olympics for you before you get to see it on DVD but the gold medal winner’s name rhymes with “caramba”.
The Good Greatsby
November 7, 2012
I’m going to have to learn the candidates’ names before I’ll know what they rhyme with.
zannyro
November 7, 2012
I’m NOT going to tell you what the last day of the week is this week, because then everybody would know….I don’t know what that has to do with anything…but I felt the need to tell you not to look at your calendar.
The Good Greatsby
November 8, 2012
I’m not so concerned about the last day of this week just as long as you can guarantee there will be a next week.
zannyro
November 8, 2012
The jury is still out on that one…
Michelle Gillies
November 7, 2012
My lips are sealed. I won’t tell you anything.
susielindau
November 8, 2012
It always seems as though people read my mind when I have recorded something I want to watch later. Someone always blurts out the ending. The worst is when I am looking forward to reading a book or seeing a movie and someone spills the whole plot and ending. Sheesh!
The Good Greatsby
November 8, 2012
Because we live in China I watch almost every US sports program the following day and it’s maddening how often someone tells me the winner.
susielindau
November 8, 2012
Well that is just sick and wrong… 🙂
The Good Greatsby
November 8, 2012
I did manage to see Oregon play Colorado the weekend after your opinion piece on the Buffaloes, but I didn’t make it past the 56-0 halftime score. Don’t tell me who won.
Curmudgeon-at-Large
November 8, 2012
The world ended… Oops, sorry about that.
The Good Greatsby
November 8, 2012
Is that why my neighborhood has been on fire the last couple weeks?
Carl D'Agostino
November 8, 2012
I caught a clip or two here and there but have never watched Gone with the wind.
The Good Greatsby
November 8, 2012
I won’t tell you how the Civil War ended. Make sure you don’t look at any maps or that might give you a bit of a hint.
She's a Maineiac
November 8, 2012
Soup is good food.
The Good Greatsby
November 8, 2012
But wouldn’t you rather just have the food without all that water on top?
She's a Maineiac
November 8, 2012
Oh, I almost forgot. I can’t keep a secret. So…uh…they’re all dead. I could be referring to the election, the Patriots or Lost. Probably all three.
spilledinkguy
November 8, 2012
I voted for clam chowder this year.
Tor Constantino, MBA (@torcon)
November 9, 2012
G2, have you been keeping tabs on Middle East tyrants such as Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein? How about Castro, Stalin and Lenin? BTW, what about John Lennon – how current are you on the Beatles? I don’t want to spill the beans about their break-up and such…
Ms. PC
November 9, 2012
Those are all pretty high-stakes endings. I know how you feel because I’m always 2-3 weeks behind on How I Met Your Mother, so it’s pretty much the same thing.
Arindam
November 9, 2012
I thought of telling you all these. But then again I realized, even I am not aware of all these things. Now I too want to be surprised.
lazylauramaisey
November 9, 2012
Omygoodness. My mum is SUCH a ruiner of stuff like this. We watched the first Narnia film and I said I didn’t want to know who did the voice of Aslan because I’d rather stay under the illusion that it really was a talking lion. So she lingered to see the credits then said loudly “LIAM NEESON,” in such a happy voice that anyone would think she was enjoying ruining my life. We don’t speak anymore…..
Hansi
November 9, 2012
Everything ends well. Relax and enjoy it all.
laurenrantnrave
November 10, 2012
Awesome 🙂
BadParentingMoments (@BPMbadassmama)
November 11, 2012
I’m not even going to tell you how this comment ends…
Binky
November 11, 2012
Luckily I don’t keep up with such things either, so I can’t tell you. But I do now report to President Fraz.