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Paul Johnson's comedy blog: I didn't get into comedy to be rich or famous. All I've ever wanted was to be loved…by somebody rich and famous.
Browsing All posts tagged under »children«
Fonz and Whatshername Sitting in a Tree
In last Saturday’s post I shared the story of The Fonz returning from Christmas break and discovering a new Italian girl enrolled in the second grade. Her addition to the second grade seemed to coincide with The Fonz asking me a lot of questions about girls and what age people start dating. I explained the […]
Packers Sent Packing
January 17, 2012
I had intended to post yesterday, but after the Green Bay Packers painful playoff loss, I was too busy feeling sorry for myself. Not even the three compliments I received yesterday on my vacation tan managed to cheer me up. To be honest, that did cheer me up a little. I do look pretty tan. […]
Weekend Round-up
January 14, 2012
Our ten-year-old son, Optimist Prime, doesn’t get near as many mentions as The Fonz because he’s probably the most polite, positive person I know and rarely does me the favor of getting in trouble to provide material for this blog. This week a teacher told my wife he had approached Optimist Prime and told him, […]
Tupperware Tupperwhere?
January 9, 2012
About once a week my wife and I discuss the case of the missing Tupperware. Some people can never find their socks and blame the dryer. Some people can never find a wooden stake when a vampire comes knocking. Some people can never find their medication, because I’ve hidden it. My wife and I can […]
The Greatsbys’ Bali Finale
January 6, 2012
We’ve had a wonderful trip these last three weeks. I skiied in South Korea, and in Bali I hiked, surfed, and waterslid at Bali’s WaterBom waterpark on Christmas Day. We didn’t bring cell phones and were delighted to never know what time it was, which sounds nice in theory but may have accounted for why […]
Teaching Kids Using Rhyme over Reason
December 9, 2011
I’m fond of reminding my sons that “adults rule and kids drool.” This is a catchy way to constantly reinforce the value of my judgment over theirs. Kids have a short attention span and it’s important to use rhymes and catchy sayings to help them quickly remember good advice and make the right decisions. Whitney […]
Saturday Salad Bar
December 3, 2011
My ten-year-old son, Optimist Prime, felt a little left out when the interview with The Fonz was featured yesterday so I promised him his own interview would come before long. OP is also pretty funny but The Fonz is featured more often on this blog because he literally speaks ten sentences for every one sentence […]
An Interview with Apollo Fonzarelli
December 2, 2011
My seven-year-old son, Apollo Fonzarelli, nicknamed The Fonz, has been sick the last few days. The kid is normally a high-energy, bundle of nerves, but his illness-induced lethargy gave me the rare opportunity to keep him in one place long enough to have a conversation. I took the opportunity to sit next to his bed […]
Dear Good Greatsby: Greatsby’s Homemade Gift Ideas
November 30, 2011
Today’s seasonal question comes from She’s a Maineiac, who seeks suggestions for Christmas on a budget. Dear Good Greatsby, Money is tight this holiday season, yet my kids are still expecting lots of expensive gifts. I’ve been out exhaustively hunting for great deals, but I’m fresh out of pepper spray. How can I convice them […]
Saturday Side Salad
November 19, 2011
My favorite search term this week: justin bieber takes fraternety test I think the searcher meant paternity test because Bieber is only sixteen years old and won’t need to worry about joining a college fraternity for a couple more years. He definitely should put fraternity considerations on a back burner until he sorts out this […]
Saturday Snack
November 12, 2011
The Fonz is having a great year in 2nd grade. He’s never been so excited about learning and corners me throughout the day to tell me about the solar system or compound words. Of course I was happy to see how enthused he was about learning, but my happiness began to fade this past week […]
Saturday Platter
November 5, 2011
When the kids were considering Halloween costumes, The Fonz wished Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak existed so he could go as the invisible man. I told him I’d actually read a story about scientists developing an invisibility cloak and he grew excited. “How much does it cost?” “It’s not for sale. It’s just an experiment.” “Where […]
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