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Paul Johnson's comedy blog: I didn't get into comedy to be rich or famous. All I've ever wanted was to be loved…by somebody rich and famous.
Browsing All Posts filed under »Columns«
If Nobody is Going to Throw Me a Party, I Guess I’ll Have to Throw One
My wife and I always bring each other breakfast in bed on our respective birthdays. Her birthday is tomorrow, but I brought her breakfast in bed a week ago to make her think I’d gotten the date wrong. It was probably the first time in a year that I’d successfully played any joke on her […]
Half-Hearted Valentine’s Day Cards
February 13, 2012
If I could go back in time 30 years and marry you all over again, I would in an instant… …but let me be clear I mean I’d marry the 25-year-old version of you, back when you could really rock a swimsuit. After 50 Valentine’s Days together, I realize more than ever that mere words […]
The Fonz Makes Three Fashion Choices in Hopes of Impressing a Girl
February 11, 2012
If you’ve followed each stage of The Fonz’s budding romance with Whatshername, you’ll remember the fateful moment when she complimented his funny clothes, probably without appreciating the impact her remark would have on the over-confidence portion of his brain, the flamboyance of his future outfits, or his parents’ efforts to move up the ladder of […]
Inspiring the Next Generation of Writers: A List of My Demands
February 9, 2012
Last week I received an invitation to speak to a group of local students about writing. Maybe the students were fans of this blog. Or maybe they heard about all the exciting writing projects I have going on. Or maybe my ten-year-old son was in the class and my wife was the school librarian. Regardless […]
Failed New Year’s Resolutions’ Solutions
January 26, 2012
The end of January is fast approaching and it’s time to measure the progress of your new year’s resolutions and make a list of people who heard you proudly proclaim those ambitious goals on New Year’s Eve–so you can be sure and avoid them. Or if avoidance isn’t your forte, either because you’re humble enough […]
Weekend Silent Sampler
January 21, 2012
On Wednesday Optimist Prime took a vow of silence. He was reading a book about a girl with disabilities who couldn’t speak and he wanted to understand what that was like. I wonder if the girl in the story had a little brother like The Fonz who begged her to talk the entire time. If […]
More from the Search Engine Oracle
January 18, 2012
You’ve probably read about Wikipedia, Craigslist, and Google blacking out services today to bring attention to legislation they say may adversely affect their mission to distract people from doing any real work. After reading Wikipedia’s explanation of the SOPA and PIPA legislation, I still wasn’t sure which hyper-irrational side of the story to believe, but […]
Weekend Round-up
January 14, 2012
Our ten-year-old son, Optimist Prime, doesn’t get near as many mentions as The Fonz because he’s probably the most polite, positive person I know and rarely does me the favor of getting in trouble to provide material for this blog. This week a teacher told my wife he had approached Optimist Prime and told him, […]
New Year’s Resolving to be an Even Greater Greatsby
January 2, 2012
I’m hoping to make 2012 even better than 2011 so here’s a list of my New Year’s resolutions to make that happen: They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away. I can’t remember to eat an apple every day, but I do think I could remember to eat seven apples every Monday. Write […]
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The Good Greatsby 
February 16, 2012
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