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Paul Johnson's comedy blog: I didn't get into comedy to be rich or famous. All I've ever wanted was to be loved…by somebody rich and famous.
Browsing All Posts filed under »Breaking News Fixed«
Demi Moore Seeks Divorce After Ashton Kutcher Caught Cheating Past His Bedtime
World leaders across the globe cancelled government business as planet Earth awaits news of whether Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore will split up. Barack Obama plans to address the nation this evening to discuss signs the couple may be calling it quits, including reports Ashton was caught cheating last weekend during his sixth year wedding […]
One Man’s Space Junk is Another Man’s NASA Lawsuit Treasure
September 26, 2011
I spent much of the past week searching the heavens, baseball mitt in hand, hoping to catch a piece of the falling NASA Upper Atmosphere Research Satellite. The falling satellite had garnered worldwide interest the past few weeks as the public speculated where it would land, and I was disappointed to learn the UARS ultimately […]
This Post Contains No Nude Pictures of Celebrities
September 15, 2011
Note to any reader directed here by a search engine: This post contains no nude photos of any celebrities, especially former Golden Girl, Betty White. Note Note: This post contains slightly explicit content described in the blandest of manners. Take pause before reading aloud to your kindergarten class, like you do all my other posts. […]
Appoint Me Bad Apple of Apple’s Eye
September 5, 2011
Last week, Steve Jobs announced his retirement from Apple in a short statement: “I have always said if there ever came a day when I could no longer meet my duties and expectations as Apple’s CEO, I would be the first to let you know. Unfortunately, that day has come. I hereby resign as CEO […]
Burglar Confused as Trebek Demands to be Robbed in the Form of a Question
July 28, 2011
Alex Trebek, host of US television’s game show Jeopardy, injured his Achilles tendon when he chased after a burglar in a San Francisco hotel. He awoke to find a woman in his room who was going through his possessions and he chased after her, only to collapse in the hallway. When I read the […]
Splitsville for Jennifarc
July 21, 2011
If Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony can’t make marriage work, what hope do the rest of us have? The couple hasn’t given a reason for the split, but my insider source says Marc Anthony was bitter that the media never gave them a catchy couples name like when Jennifer was together with Ben Affleck and […]
Shallow End of the Gene Pool
July 13, 2011
A US company is marketing a DNA test for children that promises to determine whether your infant has the potential to be a star athlete. The test searches for the presence of the ACT3N gene which has been linked to athletic ability in one previous study. Critics suggest possessing one particular gene provides very little […]
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