A South Carolina man was charged with stealing $19,000 worth of Girl Scout cookies, or 450 cases. Police were able to apprehend the man after asking the public to be on the lookout for anyone exhibiting any suspicious behavior, like gaining two hundred pounds in a day.
Parents may want to clip this article to show kids on the day after Halloween when children express skepticism that a thief would break in just to steal their Halloween candy.
You may not feel much sympathy for this cookie crook, but I feel bad for all the teasing he’s going to get in prison. I’ve never been to jail, but I’m assuming some crimes win more street credibility than others, and I can’t imagine stealing Girl Scout cookies will do anything to elevate your standing in the jail yard pecking order. If I were his cellmate, I’d try and get creative with my teasing, and I’d stay up late each night trying to think of a newspaper headline to wake him up with each morning.
Following Cookie Theft, Local Milk Trucks on Alert
Police Capture Cookie Crook; Plans for Crime Spree Macaruined
Cookie Thief Moves From Tollhouse to Jailhouse
Police Warn Public: Cookie Crook Has Chocolate Chip on His Shoulder
Cookie Crook Surprised by Capture Not Predicted by Fortune Cookie
Cookie Thief Begs Cookies to Wait for Him: My Love for You Will Never Wafer
Cookie Monster Lawyer to Plead Insanity: My Client Gingersnapped!
The Good Greatsby 
dianasschwenk
March 8, 2013
…the mint ones are rather good…
The Good Greatsby
March 9, 2013
I’m not saying his cravings weren’t justified.
strongwriter
March 8, 2013
Nice! …but I’d be worrying about your own street cred if you kept it up too long. I can’t imagine artsy-fartsies last too long in the Big House.
~Graham
The Good Greatsby
March 9, 2013
Are you saying making up funny headlines isn’t enough to make me an intimidating person?
Gow
March 8, 2013
Cop Trefoils Cookie Caper; Entire City Do-Si-Dos in Celebration!
mistyslaws
March 8, 2013
Bravo.
The Good Greatsby
March 9, 2013
Well played.
mistyslaws
March 8, 2013
“My love for you will never wafer.” Brilliant.
Trial of Cookie Crook crumbles as jurors try to milk time off from work, incessantly insisting that they just need Samoa time.
The Good Greatsby
March 9, 2013
Perfect.
becomingcliche
March 8, 2013
The real tragedy here is that $19K worth is only 450 boxes. I am thinking it’s the Girl Scout Council that’s guilty of a shake down here.
“Cookie thief hauled off to the lemon cooler.”
Although that would be funnier a few years ago, before they changed the name of their low-fat lemon cookie. But whatever.
The Good Greatsby
March 9, 2013
I agree that coverage of this story should have noted the Girl Scouts’ cookie pricing could be considered robbery.
france59
March 15, 2013
They are pricey, but not THAT pricey! That would be over $42 per box. It’s 450 cases. Just sayin’. Still…dating myself here that I once sold Girl Scout cookies for $0.50 per box. Ouch! I’m getting old.
“Cookie thief’s tagalong confesses; stole cookies because they were shortbread”
Tor Constantino, MBA (@torcon)
March 8, 2013
It’s a well known fact that such culpable cookie confiscations are merely a gateway to much more serious confectionery crimes. It all starts with Tagalongs and a bunch of Thank U Berry Munchs – soon the biscotti bad guy is knocking over Dunkin’ Donuts and Cheesecake Factory eateries. It’s crumby yet all too common…..
The Good Greatsby
March 9, 2013
It’s a slippery and crumbly slope.
S. Trevor Swenson
March 8, 2013
” and I would have gotten away with it if not for you meddling kids”
Invisible Mikey
March 8, 2013
*BANG*… “Leave the gun. Take the Trefoils.”
T E Stazyk
March 9, 2013
Now that wouldl get him some street cred in prison!
Jackie Cangro
March 9, 2013
I feel for this guy also. I can go through an entire sleeve of the Thin Mints in one sitting. It’s a problem.
pegoleg
March 9, 2013
One bright spot to this sad tale: McDonald’s offers Cooke Crook lucrative contract to replace retiring Hamburglar.
pegoleg
March 9, 2013
that’s “cookie” not cooke. Way to kill the punchline, Peg.
Tar-Buns
March 12, 2013
As a former Girl Scout, I love the thin mints. Hubby loves all things peanut butter.
Sad to steal from this fine American institution. Go to jail, you thief!!!
The Cutter
March 9, 2013
I know I’d stab someone over a box of the peanut butter patties.
The Good Greatsby
March 11, 2013
Hopefully the owner of the box would hand them over without the need for bloodshed.
The Cutter
March 11, 2013
People have died over less.
Jess Witkins
March 9, 2013
So. Not. Worth. It.
The Good Greatsby
March 11, 2013
The guilt when hitting the scale the next morning would be epically terrible.
T E Stazyk
March 9, 2013
He should be glad he wasn’t caught with a load of Dunk a Roos!
Chase McFadden
March 9, 2013
Stealing Somoas should carry a mandatory life sentence. Anyone with that poor of taste can’t be trusted on the streets.
The Good Greatsby
March 11, 2013
Excellent point. The Thin Mints are okay, but stealing the Samoas really says something unsavory about your tastes and character.
The Byronic Man
March 10, 2013
I’d think the police just had to keep watch for someone buying 300 gallons of milk and then strike.
Elyse
March 10, 2013
I don’t blame the guy. They keep raising the prices and cutting the number of cookies. I think the Girl Scouts owe me about $19,000 in cookies by now. Damn cheating Girl Scouts. The Boy Scouts would never do that.
The Good Greatsby
March 11, 2013
The Girl Scouts have nobody to blame but themselves.
zannyro
March 10, 2013
” My love for you will never wafer”…words to live by 🙂
The Good Greatsby
March 11, 2013
Is there anything more romantic you could say to a cookie?
dearrosie
March 10, 2013
I can barely eat one of them. What is he going to do with all those cases of cookies? good grief!
The Good Greatsby
March 11, 2013
I’ve heard cases of cigarettes are like currency in prison; I wonder if he got mixed up.
Michelle Gillies
March 10, 2013
You’re right. poor guy doesn’t stand a chance in jail.
monicastangledweb
March 11, 2013
Pretty clever. How long did it take you to come up with these cookie gems, anyway?
The Good Greatsby
March 12, 2013
It didn’t seem to take very long because time flies when you’re thinking about cookies.
thoughtsappear
March 11, 2013
I just read that he stole the Shortbread ones. People actually like those?
The Good Greatsby
March 12, 2013
I feel bad for him because if he stole Shortbread cookies that means he’s probably never had a cookie before.
spilledinkguy
March 11, 2013
Let’s see, there are about 150 calories in four thin mints, so… carry the one, and…
Eh. Whatever.
*om nom nom nom*
Anna
March 12, 2013
I vaugely heard about this on the news the other day… are they good enough to steal that many of them? I am rather partial to biscuits, but… you know D:
She's a Maineiac
March 13, 2013
Maybe he was just sick of the Girl Scouts harassing him while he was trying to get into Walmart? They can be so ruthless. I know many a time I feel just terrible lying to them that I’ve already bought 10 boxes yesterday while I walk out stuffing my face into a bag of Chips Ahoy.
Spectra
March 26, 2013
– it is terribly important to go shopping during Girl Scout Cookie Season prepared with your “no cookies thank you” excuse worked out in advance. “I fed one to my pet rabbit and it exploded on Easter Morning” always gets their attention. or the old “I’m sorry, but I’m allergic” excuse. “To what?” the brown eyed girls ask innocently. “To Girl Scouts” I answer over my shoulder as I wheel my squeaky, crooked-wheel shopping cart out the automatic closing door – which punishes me for my lie by repeatedly slicing into me.
She's a Maineiac
March 26, 2013
Spectra, this comment made my morning. I was all grumpy, drinking my coffee and read this and now all is right with the world. thank you. (not that I’m happy you were crushed by an automatic door, just that I laughed at your comment)
Go Jules Go
March 15, 2013
The only reason I’m not having kids is because I don’t want to force them into a world, ~8-10 years form now, where they’ll have to ask people to pay $53.75 for a box of Thin Mints.
Tiara Ousley
March 18, 2013
This was funny, short and simple! lol :p My favorite headline:Cookie Thief Moves From Tollhouse to Jailhouse. You’re so silly….One of the most dumbest yet sweetest crimes.. Cookies… mmm I hope he doesn’t get out and go for milk next….
http://www.annoyingcandy.wordpress.com
setinmotion
April 8, 2013
Hahahahaha. This is excellent. The silver lining for the Cookie Thief (I feel he deserves capitals) is that the chances of a cellmate who is as good as puns as you is slim to none.
tzweifel15
April 28, 2013
This by far is the funniest story that I have ever heard. I see with alot of these comments that i am not the only one who is addicted to that time of the year when the girl scouts starts selling their cookies. But the sad part is I can only imagine how BIG this person has to be. Then on top of that how did you get away with it all this time? Like I was a girl scout and if someone didn’t pay for their cookies you had to foot the bill. THAT SUCKS!!! But the headlines are HILARIOUS I would have never came up with half of those on a good day…
kristal111peierls
May 22, 2013
I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY, THOSE COOKIES ARE CRACK WRAPPED UP AS CONFECTIONERY
HoaiPhai
July 4, 2013
Hoodwinked Girl Scout: “The Thief is a Crumb!”