If you’re going to achieve any level of success in life, you’re going to have to expect some criticism.
If you’re not going to achieve any level of success in life, you’re going to have to expect a lot of criticism.
How you deal with criticism will have a big impact on your life so allow me to share my personal technique for handling criticism:
“Paul, I hate to have to tell you this, but I’ve noticed you don’t take criticism very well.”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“You don’t take criticism well.”
“I still can’t hear you. There must be an echo in here. Can you speak up?”
“YOU DON’T TAKE CRITICISM WELL!”
“Now you’re talking too loud. I’m literally three feet away. My ears are ringing!”
“I said you don’t take criticism well.”
“Who doesn’t?”
“You!”
“What about me?
“You’re not good at taking criticism.”
“I’m not good at taking criticism? Do you mean I’m not just good at taking criticism, I’m actually great at taking criticism?”
“No. I mean you’re really terrible at taking—”
“Why is this taking so long? Spit it out already!”
“You’re probably the worst—“
“Faster! I don’t have time for this!”
“You’re terrible at taking—“
“I hate to be critical, but you’re really bad at communication. You are probably the worst communicator I know. I don’t know what you were trying to say, but you might as well save it because I would never take seriously the opinion of such a poor, poor communicator.”
What’s that? You don’t like my method of dealing with criticism? I’m sorry but your critique was drowned out by all the praise of my hit blog.
The Good Greatsby 
mystudentstruggles
September 13, 2012
😀 Brilliant
on thehomefrontandbeyond
September 13, 2012
I love the way you take criticism — am going to use this method
mimijk
September 13, 2012
I hesitate to compliment you for fear my thoughts would be lost amongst the plethora of plaudits…
Glynis Sylvia
September 13, 2012
Any day that includes the word “plethora” is going to be a good day.
But “plethora of plaudits”? Whoo Hoo !
Thanks for making my day so special.
verbalbanter
September 14, 2012
LOL
The Good Greatsby
September 14, 2012
I’m going to start using the term ‘plethora of plaudits’ as my benchmark for accepting party invitations. “I’ll come to your party as long as you can guarantee me a ‘plethora of plaudits’.”
mimijk
September 14, 2012
Alliteration is always welcome when accepting invitations – I’m sure that was in the first edition of Emily Post.
georgettesullins
September 13, 2012
Here’s another hit for your hit blog.
Ian Webster
September 13, 2012
What is criticism? I don’t believe in ‘isms, like communism, fanaticism….
The Good Greatsby
September 18, 2012
I’m on the same page. Name an -ism that ever did any good.
omawarisan
September 13, 2012
If we are both rubber?
The Good Greatsby
September 14, 2012
Scientists are still debating that one.
dianasschwenk
September 13, 2012
haha! Well done.
She's a Maineiac
September 13, 2012
I loved the “faster, I don’t have time for this” part.
You should run for president. Greats-by! Greats-by!
The Good Greatsby
September 14, 2012
Does the president have to wear pants while working? If so, I’m not interested.
Michelle Gillies
September 13, 2012
Well played, well played.
Kharma
September 13, 2012
You need to write every day so I have some stellar reading material with my coffee.
The Good Greatsby
September 18, 2012
You should have said something earlier. I’ll get working on that.
spilledinkguy
September 13, 2012
I know YOU are, but what am I?
Wait… what were we talking about again?
The Good Greatsby
September 14, 2012
You were right in the middle of complimenting me but you got distracted. Feel free to continue.
Drew Pan
September 13, 2012
Oh man that was hilarious! I came here for the Monkey Island reference, found nothing of the sort, but left with a good chuckle anyway!
The Good Greatsby
September 14, 2012
I’m not familiar with Monkey Island. Is it an island shaped like a monkey or an island run by monkeys?
Drew Pan
September 14, 2012
Monkey Island is an old videogame by LucasArts, about a pirate island filled with monkeys. “I am rubber and you are glue” was a frequently used catch-phrase in that game.
I had no idea it was used outside of the game until your reply, actually! Hahaha I learn something new every day.
Elyse
September 13, 2012
Why would anyone criticize you?
The Good Greatsby
September 18, 2012
I ask myself that question each day when I do my affirmation in the morning.
mistyslaws
September 13, 2012
See, this would have been helpful last week when I received a scathing and hateful diatribe about how I am obviously just a shallow and/or insecure person, and that is why I post pictures of dressed poorly people on my blog. Then again, it was a long writen paragraph submitted as a comment, so not sure how the whole I CAN’T HEAR YOU bit would have worked. Can you translate this tutorial into tips on how to combat written criticism? I mean, if you have time when you are not fielding criticism of your hit blog.
The Good Greatsby
September 18, 2012
Isn’t the ability to delete and edit comments enough?
lazylauramaisey
September 13, 2012
http://lazylauramaisey.wordpress.com/2012/09/13/this-one-for-everyone-whos-supported-me/#comment-1434 Who on earth would be criticising your blog? O.. What’s that?… Most people…? O. Ok. Well, I’ve nominated you for a Liebster Blog Award, whether you like it or not. Skip all the nonsense at the beginning, go to the 11 questions at the end. There are some things I feel it would be important for me to know.
clemarchives
September 13, 2012
I think you might need to work on your conflict resolution but not your criticism-taking skills.
Laura
September 14, 2012
You’re really good at accepting praise.
The Good Greatsby
September 14, 2012
It just seems to come naturally to me.
Jackie Cangro
September 14, 2012
I once used this technique to get out of jury duty.
The Good Greatsby
September 14, 2012
Impressive. That seems much easier than my technique of moving out of the country to avoid jury duty.
Lorna's Voice
September 14, 2012
Are you sure you’re not a politician in disguise?
Kim
September 14, 2012
Paul… I hate to tell you this but, you are not an uninteresting writer…
The Good Greatsby
September 14, 2012
I’m sorry, what?
zannyro
September 14, 2012
Don’t these people who are attempting to criticize you know that you never criticize a monkey…very dangerous…and you my friend…are a monkey…please don’t take that the wrong way.
susielindau
September 14, 2012
I consider the source and the subject. If it’s about the book I am writing, bring it so I can fix and delete whatever is wrong with it.
If it is about my sunny disposition, then I am with you.
I can’t hear youuuuuu!
I’m sure that whatever criticism you heard was from someone green with envy!
The Good Greatsby
September 14, 2012
That’s also the assumption I always make.
philosophermouseofthehedge
September 14, 2012
What? Time to get out the sock puppet.
Pie
September 14, 2012
Yo critical guy. I’m real happy for you and I’ma let you finish…
Tar-Buns @ Here and ThereSa
September 14, 2012
Scrolling through the comments I just have to say,
“What the – – ???”
Mind games are fun, aren’t they?
aparnauteur
September 14, 2012
Whoever thought of criticizing you by wasting precious time using qualifying words for the said criticism need to take a lesson or two themselves.
Binky
September 14, 2012
It’s always good to give more than you get.
The Good Greatsby
September 18, 2012
I absolutely agree it’s better to give than to receive when it comes to criticism.
E
September 14, 2012
Thank you to everyone, I can now work, knowing I had a great chuckle before I started….spot on!
Mark Petruska
September 14, 2012
But at least you’re one hell of a foosball player.
cooper
September 14, 2012
so THAT’s why i get all the criticism…learn something new every day.
i have provided you with more fodder, hopefully,by nominating you for a “booker” award. make of it what you will…if anything.
The Good Greatsby
September 18, 2012
An award? Me? A great way to get me to listen to criticism is to first preface it by giving me an award.
Read Stuff With Me!
September 14, 2012
Ha ha ha 😀
gerknoop
September 15, 2012
LOVE IT!
lickingthebeater
September 15, 2012
I just put my fingers in my ears and go “LALALALALALALALALALALA” whilst walking away. it saves lots of dialogue with poor, poor communicators. “Kara I hate to tell you this but you are really bad at-” “LALALALALALALALALALALA” problem solved.
HoaiPhai
September 16, 2012
Great post! The only problem is that the fact that you are quite accomplished shows through in you criticism-deflection technique. I, a man whose cap remains unblemished by feathers and therefore a veritable black belt holder in deflecting criticism, would have ended this conversation immediately after his first utterence by denying that my name is Paul, and then briskly walking away.
The Good Greatsby
September 18, 2012
I am in your debt. You have much to teach me.
Spectra
September 16, 2012
I’m Irish. We just punch ’em.
The Good Greatsby
September 18, 2012
Is there a follow-up mood if the recipient of your punch criticizes your punching technique?
Spectra
September 19, 2012
Indignation is the rule,
The Good Greatsby
September 19, 2012
I have a hard time selling indignation. My version of indignation looks a lot like nausea.
Cakes and Shakes...
September 16, 2012
You won’t get any criticism from me 🙂
The Good Greatsby
September 19, 2012
In that case you’re always welcome to come back.
Valentine Logar
September 16, 2012
I hate to say brilliant, especially twice but Brilliant.
The Good Greatsby
September 19, 2012
Don’t be afraid of overdoing it. I wouldn’t mind if you said it three times.
monicastangledweb
September 16, 2012
Don’t listen to them. Listen to us. We think you’re the greatest! Besides. Criticism be damned!
The Good Greatsby
September 18, 2012
Thanks. I’ve added you to the list of people who can be relied on to tell me what I want to hear.
Ape No. 1
September 17, 2012
As a blog critic I would like to say that {inaudible mutterings drowned out by sounds of “La La La!”}
trishdar
September 17, 2012
i shall try this at home 🙂
The Good Greatsby
September 18, 2012
And if it works at home, feel free to use it in other situations like when the police criticize your driving.
Soma Mukherjee
September 18, 2012
ha ha ha oh man you are rockstar..ha ha this was hilarious