
The Fonz called his 8th birthday his best ever. He started the day bounding down the steps while singing, “Giddy-eight, giddy-eight, giddy-eight, eight, eight!” to the tune of the William Tell Overture.
We managed a fair amount of teasing, including telling him we had hired a ‘mathematician’ for his party after mishearing his request of a ‘magician’. We had also considered giving him a collar and leash to make him think he was getting a dog, but we decided against any pet jokes since we actually did give him a pet hamster.
When he asked if I had any ideas for names, I suggested he name his hamster ‘The iPad 3’. He spent the whole day at school today telling his friends and teacher that his favorite present was The iPad 3. Kids even came into the library to ask my wife if The Fonz had really received the new iPad for his birthday. When the kids asked The Fonz where he got his iPad 3, he always answered, “The pet store.”
*****
My favorite of his gifts was a record player. On the kids’ birthdays I like to pick one thing I wanted to buy anyway and subtly let the birthday boy think it was his idea. He was thrilled once he realized he would be the only kid in his class to own a record player. When Mrs. Greatsby saw the gift, she asked The Fonz how I had tricked him into thinking he wanted a record player. He insisted it was what he always wanted, but he just didn’t know it yet; he did know that he had “always wanted to be old timey.”
*****
When we were driving back from the record shop, The Fonz asked what a honeymoon was. Before I could answer he suggested, “Is it just like a vacation after you get married, but a really fun vacation, like bowling all the time?”
If ‘bowling’ is some slang kids are using now, I don’t get it.
*****
He’s been reading a book for kids full of interesting records and statistics and he spent his birthday answering questions with a question stating one of the book’s facts.
“Do you want some ice cream?”
“Can a dog make about a hundred facial expressions?”
“Um…I don’t know. Can he? I assume the answer is yes because I assume you want ice cream.”
*****
Here’s a picture of The Fonz someone sent me yesterday. Would you believe me if I promised this was The Fonz but that I’d never met these other three people in my life and I have no idea where this picture was taken?
I’d be interested to hear your theories?
*****
Don’t forget to submit a caption in the caption contest.
Laura
April 20, 2012
I love The Ipad 3 as a pet name, but I’m a little disappointed you didn’t get him a tiny hamster-sized collar and leash and tell him he had to walk his hamster every day.
I think the picture is pretty self-explanatory. It was taken while The Fonz was hanging out with one of his friends in her home after school. Unaware that she had a secret crush on him, he told her about his own crush on the Italian girl, and naturally, this girl was devastated. Her mother is attempting to comfort her while her father tries to convince The Fonz to change his mind.
thoughtsappear
April 20, 2012
I love the hamster leash idea.
pegoleg
April 20, 2012
We got a leash and little mesh harness for my daughter’s guinea pig. It got so upset,thrashing around, we practically had to cut the harness off.
Laura
April 21, 2012
Another option is to get a regular dog collar and explain that yes, it’s too big now, but the hamster should grow into it within a couple months.
Kathryn McCullough
April 20, 2012
Love, love, love honeymoon as bowling!
Tor Constantino, MBA (@torcon)
April 20, 2012
I love that your son wants to be “…old timey…” Our youngest daughter turns 8 next month and yet she’s looking a few years ahead as she declared at dinner last night:
“When I turn 16 I want to own a puppy and a country, but if we were Spanish I’d only have to wait til I was 15 since that would be my Quinceañera.”
I’m a bit vexed as to whether I help or hinder her dictatorial aspirations… any guidance G2?
Life in the Boomer Lane
April 20, 2012
Hilarious. I should have borrowed that family when my kids were little. We were mostly crazed and disorganized. The only time my kids looked appropriate was on Halloween.
artjen1971
April 20, 2012
My theory is that the photo is from and Ethan Allen style magazine! You better make sure he’s getting paid for that gig!
zannyro
April 20, 2012
What is your son doing in my house talking to my husband? And that picture makes me
look fat.
susielindau
April 20, 2012
I really think that looks like you and your son, but the other two must be ghostly apparitions from another time that just happened to show up on the film.
nursemyra
April 22, 2012
That’s your family in a parallel universe. My condolences to your wife when you break the news.
EllieAnn
April 20, 2012
He wants to be old timey? That is so hipster.
pegoleg
April 20, 2012
You’ve been farming the kid out to make ads for hardwood floors, in an attempt to fill the family coffers.
thelifeofjamie
April 20, 2012
I’d love to see what he does when you hand him a record…probably try and fling it like a frisbee.
gojulesgo
April 20, 2012
That really does look like you and The Fonz. I believe he is asking you where your smoking jacket is.
The iPad 3 name is PERFECT.
amelie
April 20, 2012
The same thing happened to us, believe it or not. We were not in the photograph, but it was taken from my iPhone and to this day we don’t know whose house we were at.
Parallel universe. No question.
http://www.amazon.com/Knocking-Heavens-Door-Scientific-Illuminate/dp/006172372X
amelie
April 20, 2012
Oh cripes, now it’s doing that with books too? :0 Sorry!!
little blog of happy
April 21, 2012
I’m thinking that it’s you, the Fonz, your lovely librarian wife and Optimist Prime in drag. Not that there anything wrong with that. Or maybe you really wanted a daughter, and got Optimist Prime to play along. We already know he’s empathetic. If you’re family’s like everyone else’s, we’re likely only hearing a small portion of what really goes on behind closed doors.
gerknoop
April 21, 2012
Photoshop….gotta LOVE it.
PS: The furniture is arranged stupidly! Look at it…..chair blocking an entry, coffee table in the middle of the room so far from the couch you could play a game of hopscotch in between….LOLOL this obviously isn’t your house Greatsby….and the wife? She looks a bit like Madonna.
So glad the Fonz had a great Birthday! Did he invite whatshername?
Audrey
April 21, 2012
The honeymoon question had me howling! Yes, “bowling” is the new colloquial term…
Michelle Gillies
April 21, 2012
The Ipad 3 hamster is perfect. It should last just long enough to time naming his new pet the Ipad 4.
Somehow I always pictured Optimist Prime as a boy, but I was clearly wrong.
pattisj
April 21, 2012
Silly boy, don’t you remember when you had a flat tire and stopped to use my phone?
thesinglecell
April 22, 2012
Bowling… um… pins… knocked down by balls…coming down a lubricated lane… do I have to spell it out? Also, I bet OP is disappointed to have been turned into a girl for the sake of this photos. And you can always name the hamster another animal. I had a teacher in high school who named his cat Bunny. So the hamster could be Guinea Pig, or Rat, or Labradoodle.
Binky
April 22, 2012
If that’s a picture of your family, I’d say Optimus Prime might have some issues.
A birthday mathematician would be the best present ever! No matter what your age.
She's a Maineiac
April 23, 2012
Honeymoons are like bowling. Yeah, that sounds about right. So what’s the scoop on the pic? You aren’t going to leave us hanging here are ya?
spilledinkguy
April 23, 2012
I see you ‘replaced’ the coffe table I broke into your home to leave as a gift when you were out on your bowling vacation…
Dana
April 24, 2012
Great idea with the pet name. I should go look for an ipad 3 at the pet store, too.
I’m guessing the photo was taken on a set for some play? Careful, though– the fake dad is really challenging your real dad sense of style. If he was wearing a smoking jacket, too, it would probably be game over for your father-son relationship with The Fonz.