Is that Justin Bieber I Smell?

Posted on July 8, 2011


You may know Canadian Justin Bieber as the teen heartthrob who made $53 million last year, most notably for singing the song Baby which repeated the word “baby” 54 times, almost exactly $1 million per “baby”.  If you forget the words, just try shouting “baby” and the odds are in your favor.

If you haven’t heard of The Bieb, maybe you were too busy wasting your time reading books.

J-Bieb recently unveiled his new fragrance for women, called Someday.  I assume the name “Someday” is meant to be a tantalizing secret message directed at his older fans, as in someday I’ll be eighteen and you won’t feel so creepy about crushing on me.  Check out the Someday commercial below as Optimus Bieb takes a lucky girl on a piggyback ride through the clouds.  I swear this is not a parody.

The Biebs’ fragrance is only the first of a planned range of JBiebz counter-intuitive products including anti-wrinkle cream, male pattern baldness medication, and an advice book on how to meet girls.

Biebersaurus Rex makes a lot of money, so who am I to question his management team, but is a women’s fragrance the best branding move for a 100 pound adolescent boy with a high voice, wind-swept hair, and killer cheekbones?

Are you a Belieber?

I doubt the fragrance will be successful because I don’t think a woman wants a man to lean in close, inhale her perfume, and whisper any of the following:

“Mmm…is that Justin Bieber I smell?”

“There’s something different about you tonight, something that reminds me of a prepubescent boy.”

“So are you going to invite me up for video games and Kool-Aid, or what?”

“Am I the luckiest guy in the world?  Not only do you look like Justin Bieber, but you smell like him, too!”

“We’re the perfect match!  You’re wearing Justin Bieber and I’m wearing Hannah Montana!”

Has anybody heard if the Biebster plans a fragrance for men?  I’m not asking for me but for a friend of mine that none of you know.

Check out my interview by blogger, frequent commenter, and occasional alibi, Ellie Anne Soderstrom: Interview with Monsieur Jean L’Assant D’Angelo Hyacinth, the master thief