Did you watch any of the national Scripps Spelling Bee last week on ESPN? Congratulations to Sukanya Roy who sealed the victory by correctly spelling “Cymotrichous”. News of the victory spread quickly among excited teenagers as they texted each other the news:
wassup, playa, U heer bout Speling Be champyon? 
Fo shizzle, mine laydee Sukanya be havin sum mad spilling skillz ya’all
Once again, congratulations to Sukanya who deserves every bit of recognition when she returns home and her middle school throws her a congratulatory assembly wherein all the kids clap and whisper to each other, “What’s a spelling bee?”
Don’t worry Sukanya if your peers aren’t impressed–you can always enjoy the company of past spelling bee winners:
2011 Sukanya Roy
2010 Anamika Veeramani
2009 Kavya Shivashankar
2008 Sameer Mishra
Do you see any pattern here? Are Indian-Americans motivated to conquer the world of spelling as ironic revenge for our inability to spell their names?
Contestants celebrating making it to the final round. Well done Sriram, Sukanya, and Arvind. I can't see the face of the girl with her back turned, but I'm pretty sure her name isn't Katelyn.
The 2007 winner was Evan M. O’Dorney, but I assume his name was misspelled on the spelling bee website and should actually read Evanishram O’Dorankar.
Indian-Americans get too much credit for good study habits because most people don’t understand dedication to good spelling among Indians is a cultural byproduct of Hinduism and the Bhagavad Gita story where Shiva the Destroyer burns the earth, but spares all the best spellers.
After her victory, Sukanya was interviewed by national media who asked if she would watch replays of her victory on television, and Sukanya replied, “What’s a television?” She had similar responses when asked about sports, hobbies, and sunshine.
This was the first spelling bee I’ve been able to watch in twenty years because the memories of spelling bees past are just too painful. I won the third grade spelling bee, but third graders didn’t go on to compete for the school title. I won the fourth grade spelling bee and became the first fourth grader to go on to win the school wide contest. I won again in fifth grade, but I lost in sixth on the very first word of the school wide spelling bee. I arrived late, rushed to take my seat on the stage, and because they were waiting for me before they could start, I was the first one up, and I completely froze. I had no time to mentally prepare, and in the rush and embarrassment of arriving late my mind went completely blank on an extremely easy word, one of the easy, easy words they give at the beginning so no dads will get angry they missed work just to see their kid go out in the first round.
I always dreamed of going on to nationals some day, but eligibility for our district didn’t start until seventh grade. When the date of the seventh grade spelling bee arrived, I decided not to compete, and I’ve never spelled competitively again. As a matter of fact, when my wife asks me to spell something for her, I always spell it incorrectly on porpoise.
Here’s a bit of trivia for you: people always ask why they are called spelling bees. The name derives from the first spelling competition held in Massachusetts in 1698 when twenty contestants competed for the first prize of a barrel of honey. Contestants finishing in places two through twenty received no prizes but rather death by bee stings. The contest did not receive any applicants in 1699, 1700, 1701, 0r 1702, and it wasn’t until 1703 when the bee sting punishment was eliminated that the competition took off.
The Good Greatsby 
Hippie Cahier
June 16, 2011
I dreamed of becoming a competitive speller. Those Fisher Price magnetic letters were my most cherished childhood toys. Those dreams died an early death because my school (whose mascot was, in fact, the Bee) did not field a team. Apparently, it was outsourced to India.
The Good Greatsby
June 16, 2011
All your childhood dreams were outsourced.
ryoko861
June 16, 2011
I saw that! I’m always amazed at those kids! I was always an ace speller, but I could NEVER have competed.
And we’re outsourcing out work to these people. O-M-G
I always thought that kind of stuff would be passed down to my kids. They suck bad at spelling! I’m SO glad they’re out of school (don’t know how they did it-no, wait, yes I do…..THANK YOU VERY MUCH!) and I don’t have to worry about those stupid spelling tests and pulling teeth the day before to get them to learn it (was only able to pull one tooth – damn!). Neither of my kids ever got an “A” on a spelling test. Very disappointing.
This was hilarious! I went back and read it again!
ryoko861
June 16, 2011
And I spelled “our” wrong. I spelled it “out” but that’s because I type faster than my brain works. So it’s not really a word spelled wrong, I spelled “out” correctly, I just typed the wrong word in….ok, I’ll shut up now. 🙂
The Good Greatsby
June 16, 2011
It’s hard to believe they’re willing to do work we don’t want to do. Makes you wonder if they’ll be content to do that forever.
k8edid
June 16, 2011
Yo, GG. U r a g8t splr, fo shizzle. Have you ever noticed that people will abbreviate/shorten/slaughter most words but take the time to spell our “fo shizzle”?
Certainly our Indian-American youth seem to have mastered our incredibly F’d up language, but if you can learn to spell your own 37 letter last name, you probably have a good chance of spelling most anything, I would guess.
I just finished correcting written assignments for the college classes I teach – and I want to poke out my own eyes. I am still shuddering at the massacre of the English language and spelling mishaps. At least with spelling you can guess that maybe it was just a typo – but when you slaughter the sentence structure and mangle, instead of dangle, your participles – there can be only one conclusion. Yep, you bought a bad paper to turn in….either way, my red pen was furiously circling, crossing out, and drawing complex sentence structures that look almost diagrammed plays for the football games. But I really don’t know why I bothered.
The word that messed me up last on a spelling bee was diminutive. Didn’t help that the priniciple pronounced it dim-in-u-i-tive. I lost my appeal and never spelled again.
My husband is an incredibly bad speller. To make up for it, he writes so sloppily that you can’t tell his words are misspelled. Clever, no?
The Good Greatsby
June 16, 2011
They won’t take appeals. I had the judges rule one word incorrect, but my teacher went and showed them they were incorrect in ruling me incorrect, but they couldn’t change their minds once they had ruled. Even after playing back the tape recorder and hearing I was correct, they still didn’t make a change.
Glynis
June 17, 2011
By the way, you used the wrong “principle”. You meant PrinciPAL – the head of the school, who is always your pal. Where’s my red pen?
k8edid
June 17, 2011
You’re right, I did!!! My eyes were bleeding from all the rotten papers I had graded!!!
HoaiPhai
June 16, 2011
Sure, but can she spell “perfunctory”?
The Good Greatsby
June 16, 2011
Good question. I would guess yes, but I see what you’re saying.
Brown Road Chronicles
June 16, 2011
Evanishram O’Dorankar… you crack me up dude!
The Good Greatsby
June 16, 2011
Nobody liked Evan’s chances of winning until they learned Evan was short for Evanishram.
bridgesburning
June 16, 2011
I am amazed at how well these children lose once they are disqualified. They do it with grace and restraint for the most part putting to shame the contestants on some of our talent contest shows who embrace the drama of heartbreak, heart on the sleeve sort of thing. Question …since you are a qualified competitor…are champion spellers good at grammar or not?
The Good Greatsby
June 16, 2011
I wouldn’t expect being good at spelling and good at grammar would necessarily use the same part of the brain.
Matt @ The Church of No People
June 16, 2011
We shouldn’t feel too bad about Indian Americans always beating our students at spelling. Our students, through excessive involvement in athletics over academics, will have all the ball throwing skills they need to be competitive in the 21st century.
k8edid
June 16, 2011
Matt, you are correct, sir. Last night at the community college at which I teach, the trophy for the softball “championship” was prominently displayed. However, if you wanted to know who made the Dean’s List, you had to ask that a list be printed out for you.
The Good Greatsby
June 16, 2011
A ball throwing industry may very well surface in the next ten years for which our children will find themselves over-qualified.
omawarisan
June 16, 2011
I was always impressed by that kid a few years back who passed out after they gave him a word, then got up and spelled it. Now I wonder if, while he was down he heard Shiva say “I saw that”.
The Good Greatsby
June 16, 2011
Shiva is always watching…and checking our spelling.
Meet the Buttrams
June 16, 2011
Spelling bees: riveting television. No. Kidding. I knew a kid who made it to the national level, but his name was George, so he didn’t stand a chance.
I always second-guess myself when spelling “sandwich” because my 5th grade teacher marked it wrong on a test when I had actually spelled it correctly, and then I spelled it “sandwhich” and got it wrong again. Or maybe I’ve been wrong my whole life and it’s actually “sandwitch” but if I’m wrong I don’t wanna be right.
The Good Greatsby
June 16, 2011
Maybe it’s all in your mind and there’s no such thing as a sandwich. I’ve certainly never heard of one.
Brown Road Chronicles
June 16, 2011
I think spelling bee losers should go out and riot, smash shit up, light fires and loot stores… like the Vancouver fans did last night!
pegoleg
June 16, 2011
Cracked me up!
Amanda Hoving
June 16, 2011
We actually have daily spelling-bee training sessions at my house. They involve chanting things like “friends are overrated,” and “slang is the devil.”
The Good Greatsby
June 16, 2011
The devil certainly does use a lot of slang. Or so I’ve heard. It’s not like I have firsthand knowledge.
Jillian Harvie
June 16, 2011
Have you seen Spellbound? The documentary?
The Good Greatsby
June 16, 2011
I watched a few minutes and felt physically sick with nerves. It brought all the anxiety back and I had to turn it off.
madtante
June 16, 2011
Bad memories…I made it to a regional spelling bee (no joke) and failed because I’d been taught British spelling as a child. I was 14.
When they told me to step down, I demanded for them to tell me why because I knew I’d used the correct spelling. Oops. I forgot where I was living. This didn’t truly plaque me again til uni, where my school was so strict you only earned an A if you scored 96-100% (typically, schools go 90-100=A). So, I forced myself to learn American spelling so save marks. I screw up occasionally, especially when I type fast.
Instead of going off-shore to India for work, how about we go 1940s again and import Indians? The melting pot’s getting too thin over here.
Bearman
June 16, 2011
I remember mispelling “piece” because I thought she was saying “peace”
The Good Greatsby
June 16, 2011
Did you ask her to use the word in a sentence?
Glynis
June 17, 2011
As a Word Nerd, I get very tired of the practice of allowing alternative spellings into our language, just because enough people are spelling something that incorrect way. For example, I went to check on whether you misspelled “mispelling”, only to find out that lately they’ve decided to include both ways. Sigh……
The Good Greatsby
June 17, 2011
I feel the same way about definitions of words. Everybody used ‘ironic’ incorrectly for ten years and now the definition of the word has changed to reflect the formerly incorrect definition.
thebabelblog
June 16, 2011
I went to a private school that didn’t have any indian kids in it. Our spelling be champion was the sole chinese guy at out school.
The Good Greatsby
June 17, 2011
On an episode of the Simpsons, Principal Skinner says, “For a school with no Asian kids, we put on a pretty good science fair.”
thelifeofjamie
June 16, 2011
Nothing is better than the girl who won by saying a letter and then immediately covering her mouth! I believe she is why SPF 90 was invented!
MattJ
June 16, 2011
We need a word to describe the kind of lazy speller (like myself) who grew up in the spell-checker age. I can only spell well enough for most words to be caught by the spell-checker and fixed. Some words, like constitional are so far off that MS Word just gives me the finger on it. It knows what I’m trying to say, but I’m sure if that paper clip was still in the lower right hand corner of the screen, it’d be rolling it’s eyes right now.
Personally, I think being labeled a poor speller is too harsh and not positive enough. My spelling is like a basketball bank shot. I was intentionally aiming at a spot away from the basket knowing full well that it would bank into the hoop that was my target all along. Instead of poor spellers, how about we start using “bank shot” spellers? Sounds like a higher degree of difficulty anyway.
conscince becomes conscience. Another bank shot and worth just as much as someone who hit nothing but net. And I didn’t have to waste my summers studying spelling.
Phenomianl… Phenomial…. Phenomanal.
Shit
Glynis
June 17, 2011
Your comment was so funny that I’ll forgive the “constitional”.
pegoleg
June 16, 2011
Both my kids were the champions of their school and went to the county bee. Gwen went to regional. It was down to the final 3 and the moderator mispronounced her word. I jumped up and said “You’re not saying it right”. The other judge, who should have been the one to speak up, agreed. She got it right and went on to win.
Fast forward to the state championships. As we were registering I morphed into THAT MOM. I told the moderator what had happened at the regional and said in a smarmy, smirky voice, “I certainly hope you all KNOW how to pronounce the words HERE.”
Gwen’s first word was pronounced perfectly. She flubbed it. I hadn’t even bought my popcorn and we were slinking out of there.
2 weeks ago my kids and I were in our hotel room 1 block from Times Square. Were we planning our exciting Manhattan adventure? Nope. We were watching the Scripps Howard Spelling Bee.
The Good Greatsby
June 16, 2011
I never thought I would be that parent, but I probably am. Nobody else is going to ensure our kids get a fair shake.
Tori Nelson
June 16, 2011
I only participated in one spelling bee growing up. I’m pretty sure I lost because my name is only four letters and easy to spell and maybe because I misspelled the word Squaw.
The Good Greatsby
June 17, 2011
You’re probably less likely to take an active interest in spelling if your name is only four letters. It’s the kids with tough names who are motivated to be spelling experts.
Lenore Diane
June 16, 2011
“Fo shizzle, mine laydee Sukanya be havin sum mad spilling skillz ya’all”
The above concerns me greatly. Fo seriously shizzely. You’re in Shanghai right? Do they talk/text like that in Shanghai? If so, I’m surprised.
I hang my head in shame, every time I drive by a day care with a name spelled incorrectly, as if to be clever. (Then I quickly swerve back on to the road, as I noticed I’ve veered a bit too far to the side.) Skool Daze, Kidz Place, etc.
The Good Greatsby
June 17, 2011
No they don’t really talk like that in Shanghai. Well, just me to be honest.
If you allow your kid to attend a day care called Skool Daze, that’s not a good sign.
girlonthecontrary
June 17, 2011
I never competed in a spelling bee. The schools I attended never had them. I feel slighted. Especially because I know I would have dominated. My insane need for approval combined with my compulsive need to win would definitely have made me a spelling champion. What could have been…..sigh.
The Good Greatsby
June 17, 2011
You don’t have to limit spelling bees to school–didn’t you and your friends play spelling bee when you were a kid?
Girly
June 17, 2011
Deer Good Gratsbee, u make me laff and stuf. I wuz inn speling bee wunce and lost on the wird “syllable”. But kan spel it noww. huray 4 meee!
The Good Greatsby
June 17, 2011
Deer Gurlee, u r toe kind. Spelleng “syllable” wood confoos anybodee.
Uthara
June 17, 2011
Contestants celebrating making it to the final round. Well done Sriram, Sukanya, and Arvind. I can’t see the face of the girl with her back turned, but I’m pretty sure her name isn’t Katelyn.
HAHAHA.
Yes we’re nerdy like that. I correctly used the word “Blasphemy”(right spelling and everything) when I was nine.
and HEY we watch Tv. Although it is true that in the 90’s a very popular high school debate topic was “Is Television a boon or bane?”
Glynis
June 17, 2011
Gee, most of the other nine year olds just blaspheme.
The Good Greatsby
June 17, 2011
I don’t think her name is Kaitlynn, Catelinn, or Kaytlin either.
lifeintheboomerlane
June 17, 2011
During Elizabethan times, there was no such thing as spelling. William Shakespeare can just as easily be spelled “Leroy Fetchett.” The art of non-spelling is still practiced in several countries around the world and in most school jurisdictions of the United States, especially Camden, NJ.
The Good Greatsby
June 17, 2011
I assume you have a bone to pick with Camden, NJ.
Laura
June 17, 2011
I don’t remember ever having spelling bees in school when I was growing up. But even if we’d had them, I could never compete — I tend to spell words correctly when I’m writing, but if I stop and think about how a word is spelled, it always seems wrong. In a spelling bee, I’d second-guess myself and choke.
madtante
June 17, 2011
This was put on by state government, I think. The St. Louis Post-Dispatch newspaper officiated — and it was approximately 300 years ago (back when I was 14).
The Good Greatsby
June 17, 2011
Every school district and state has different rules. I expected to go on to a school district level after I won my elementary contest, but it didn’t happen.
Renee Davies
June 17, 2011
My favorite words to spell are irregardless and nucular. I love spelling bees.
Margie
June 17, 2011
Bad spellers of the world, UNTIE!
The Good Greatsby
June 17, 2011
Ha! You now have your official bad spellers’ slogan.
paigekellerman
June 17, 2011
My mother was state spelling bee champ around eighth or ninth grade. I can still remember the look on her face when I spelled the first word of my first spelling bee, wrong. I’ve been able to spell “laborious” ever since, but my mom’s been trying, for the last 17 years to figure out how none of her ten kids inherited her knack for spelling… I always tell her, “Mom, spelling isn’t genetik.”
..Although, now I’ll probably call and tell her she should’ve adopted ten kids from India, instead.
The Good Greatsby
June 17, 2011
I hope my kids inherit my gift for spelling because I’m not looking forward to forcing them to study eight hours a day, but I’ll do it if that’s what it takes for me to live out my dreams through my children.
Kim
June 17, 2011
I always burned out super early in spelling bees. 😦
The Good Greatsby
June 17, 2011
I hope you at least made it through the first round.
Glynis
June 17, 2011
Speaking of spelling, you can find the poem about a spelling checker within my blog entry here: http://qwinkly.livejournal.com/32160.html
And for the proper way to spell “fish” – http://qwinkly.livejournal.com/38770.html
spilledinkguy
June 17, 2011
My spelling is so bad words I’m attempting to type often aren’t even presented as options by spell check. Not a good sign.
The Good Greatsby
June 17, 2011
Sometimes you have to spell based only on instinct and the spell check doesn’t take this into consideration.
Jess Witkins
June 17, 2011
I love the last paragraph. I actually believed the barrel of honey thing until I read the punishment, but you had me laughing pretty hard. Congrats Sukanya!
The Good Greatsby
June 17, 2011
Are you suggesting the punishment wasn’t real? It’s hard to know the true facts because I couldn’t get an interview with anyone who had actually attended that first spelling bee.
Penny
June 17, 2011
I loved spelling bee contests when younger-I could spell better then- then now !!!! Something happens to the the aging mind ! Oh well, life is good and aging isn’t all that bad !! 🙂
The Good Greatsby
June 17, 2011
I was certainly a better speller back then. Spell checkers have made me lazy.
Penny
June 18, 2011
Spell checkers are awesome !!!! 🙂
youngamericanwisdom.com
June 17, 2011
So…what was the word you spelled incorrectly in the 6th grade? Was it “purpose or “porpoise”?
Binky
June 17, 2011
People still spell? Isn’t that what they invented spell checkers for? So we could be free to do more important things, like learn how to facebook and tweet.
ellieswords
June 17, 2011
Sukanya iz ma hommie she gunna go far fo sho fo learning bout spelling prepars u fo all lives trials and makes strong brains ya kno?
Thomas Stazyk
June 17, 2011
Whatever happened to the spelling bee champions of yore?
accidentalstepmom
June 17, 2011
I won the fourth grade spelling bee. Undeservedly, it turns out. Amy Johnson correctly pointed out that the word she spelled that took her out, she actually spelled correctly. She challenged the decision and turned it over. That was my last spelling bee. (Amy, by the way, is Korean, and very smart.)
tinkerbelle86
June 17, 2011
wait… they put the spelling bee on the TV? why does anyone want to watch that?!
Renée A. Schuls-Jacobson
June 18, 2011
I was going to write about this, but I thought too much time had passed. That’ll learn me. Did you see the kid who missed the word with the silent “u”? It. was. devastating. When they dinged the bell and read the proper spelling, he said, “Oh, a silent ‘u…'” and I cried a little inside for him. Who ever heard of a word starting with a silent “u”? Trust me, he’ll be next year’s winner.
reelingintheyears.wordpress.com
June 18, 2011
When my son turned on the ESPN spelling bee, I said, “How many Indian children are there? They will win.”
He replied, “Mom, you are so racist.”
I’m standing my ground, that it is so NOT racist.
I made it to the final round in middle school, because I could spell ‘kindergarten.’ Whoo. hoo.
Tony McGurk
June 18, 2011
I can’t even pronounce Cymotrichous. I C&P’d it as I had no chance of spelling it right
Wade Abbott
June 19, 2011
I took 2nd place in my county when I was in 8th grade. “Ferrite,” a term used in metallurgy, was the word that cost me the win.
Ironically, I got my undergraduate degree in materials engineering. Probably because I could spell “ferrite.”
cheapchick1
June 23, 2011
Hilarious! I think everyone must have a horrible spelling bee experience, regardless of their spelling ability.
Mary M
June 23, 2011
I took 1st place in my 3rd grade spelling bee when I correctly spelled the word “chute”, as in “laundry chute”. I stopped there, which was probably a wise decision. I wouldn’t have taken kindly to losing to Aakash Kapurshamiketni.
Your blog is hilarious, I’m subscribing. I wish I had the same flair for comedy, but reading is almost as enjoyable. Congratulations on being “freshly pressed” (on different post, but still).
writerwoman61
June 24, 2011
I have never spelled competitively, but I’ve always been good at it (modest too!). I once played in a trivia contest for charity, and choked…I’m thinking a spelling bee would be a bad idea!
Wendy
Fun with Peter
April 17, 2013
dis blog wah sah funnay : D
iheal
October 8, 2013
If “The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee” is ever performed in your town, go see it… hilarious musical that includes audience members to participate in a bee. You’ll get to spell words like “cow” and “mexican”. Truly loving your blog… my new favorite! Thanks for sharing!