Hats Off to the Queen’s Hat

Posted on June 4, 2011


1. QUEEN: “You can undress me with your eyes all you want, but the hat stays on.”

2. QUEEN: “I saw Elton John wearing it, and I just ‘hat’ to have it.  Get it?  ‘Hat’ to have it?  Bit of English hat humour for you.”

3. OBAMA: “You’re required to carry your constitutional powers on you at all times?  Where do you hide them?”
QUEEN: “I guess you’ll have to search me.”

4. QUEEN: “Due to recent cutbacks, I had to sell my crown, but Prince Philip says this hat is just as impressive.”

5. QUEEN: “Don’t be hatin’ on this hat, hater!  You be wantin’ any sugar or milk with your negativi-TEA.”
CROWD: “Aww, snap.  Oh, no, she didn’t!”

6. QUEEN: “Well played, President Obama.  I can’t believe I fell for the glue-on-the-hand handshake trick, and then you got me to straighten my hat.  Well done.  I may be the Queen of England, but you’re the King of Pranks!”

7. QUEEN: “Really?  You like it?  I wear this old thing when I don’t care what country I’m entertaining.”

8. National Treasure 3: You watched Nicolas Cage steal the Declaration of Independence.  Now prepare to be riveted as you watch Obama steal the Queen’s hat.

9. OBAMA: “Just let me try it on for a second.”
QUEEN: “No.”
OBAMA: “Please?”
QUEEN: “No.”
OBAMA: “Please.  Please. Please. I’m not going to break it.  I’ll give it right back.”
QUEEN: “No.”

10. OBAMA: “In my country, when someone bets her hat on a horse race and loses, it’s understood the hat in question is the hat she was wearing when she made the bet.  She can’t go back home and choose a different, cheaper hat.”