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Paul Johnson's comedy blog: I didn't get into comedy to be rich or famous. All I've ever wanted was to be loved…by somebody rich and famous.
Browsing All posts tagged under »satire«
Notes from Edinburgh
My English friends keep pointing out British celebrities here at the Edinburgh Fringe that I didn’t know were celebrities: “Hey, look behind you. That’s Ruby Wax!” “Who’s Ruby Wax?” “Are you serious? She’s been on the telly for years.” “Sorry, but I’m not familiar with British television celebrities.” “But she’s an American!” “But she’s only on TV […]
People I Want to Impress
August 8, 2011
We all want to be liked. Or if not liked, at least respected. Or feared. Or maybe we would trade being liked for being considered incredibly attractive, but that’s a completely different topic and I don’t want to digress. The urge to be recognized as special or interesting or intelligent is strongest in childhood when we […]
Chinglish Loving Life
August 7, 2011
This sign was posted on a rail separating viewers from a 10,170 foot drop off the peak of Mount Emeishan: The advice is pretty straightforward–if you think life is okay, or maybe even love life, then you probably don’t want to climb to the other side of the hand rail and fall off the mountain. […]
Saturday Rambler
August 6, 2011
I visited Edinburgh ten years ago, but I don’t remember seeing so many redheads. I saw more redheads in my first twenty-four hours here than I had seen in the previous ten years combined. Although to be honest, I’ve lived in China for seven of those years and the variety of hair colors is pretty slim. When […]
Friday Love Letters: Dear Jane Seymour
August 5, 2011
Dear Jane Seymour, I realize you’re a classy Englishwoman so I assume it will take more than dinner and a movie coupled with conversation about my fantasy football draft to win you over. I’m not sure I’m genuinely classy, but I’ve taken pretending to be classy to a whole new level. I own a smoking […]
What Would Harry Potter Do?
August 4, 2011
Kids like to be teased. When my kids say they don’t like to be teased I realize this is their way of teasing me back and begging for more teasing. I tease my kids a lot, but I hope my teasing manages to teach them valuable life lessons at the same time because this helps […]
Dear Good Greatsby: Should I Pretend Not to be Better Than Everyone Else?
August 3, 2011
Today’s questions come from blogger and author, Tyler Tarver. Allow me to introduce Tyler by saying he has never asked to borrow money or invited me to his child’s birthday party, thus winning my hearty endorsement of him as a writer and human. Allow Tyler to describe himself in his own inspiring words: “Tyler is […]
That Film is so Gay
August 2, 2011
Hollywood loves to re-make movies. The first Spider-Man film premiered in 2002, and after three films they are already rebooting the series with an entirely new cast set to debut in 2012. The movie, A Star is Born, is now being re-made for the fourth time. The first film came in 1937 and starred Janet […]
The Search Engine Oracle Keeps on Speaking
August 1, 2011
Every search term tells a story. As I explained in my previous posts, Search Engine Oracle one and two, I like to imagine the circumstances that inspire these searchers to rush to a search engine seeking advice. What happened to this searcher earlier in the day? what do you say when someone tells you that someone […]
Chinglish Beauty Tips
July 31, 2011
My wife bought some fake eyelashes here in Shanghai: When she tried on the eyelashes and asked me how she looked, I told her she looked fine. She was extremely disappointed my reaction wasn’t more enthusiastic based on the promises made on the reverse side of the packaging: Rococo for women gives you beauty and […]
Saturday Shuffle
July 30, 2011
On Thursday night my seven-year-old, The Fonz, lost a tooth while attending a rodeo/carnival. He told me the news and expected me to be excited, but I immediately quoted the ancient proverb: “He who loses his tooth at a carnival in the presence of many toothless carnies, is destined to grow up to be a […]
Friday Love Letters: Dear Totino’s Party Pizza
July 29, 2011
Dear Totino’s Party Pizza, Why do we ever fight? I may say some hurtful things in the heat of the moment, usually when standing on a scale, but I always come back, don’t I? You know I can’t stay mad at you. Totino’s Party Pizza, you are the greatest of economy meals. I’ve found you […]
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The Good Greatsby 
August 9, 2011
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