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Paul Johnson's comedy blog: I didn't get into comedy to be rich or famous. All I've ever wanted was to be loved…by somebody rich and famous.
Browsing All Posts filed under »Columns«
If You Have Time to Secede from the Union, You Must Have Time to Help Out Around the House
When I look back on being a kid, if there’s one thing I remember, it’s being much younger. My kids have also helped me remember that an important part of growing up is learning how to avoid work. Every kid learns to pick up on the small signals that Mom and Dad are about to […]
Don’t Tell Me How it Ends
November 7, 2012
So I’ve been pretty busy the last week and haven’t had time to follow the American election. I recorded CNN’s election night coverage but I won’t have time to watch it until next week, so nobody tell me who won. Also, don’t tell me who won the Republican primary; I want to be surprised. Also, […]
The Absolute Worst Things You Could Get on Halloween
October 26, 2012
Every kid who’s ever been trick-or-treating has made a mental list of the very worst things you can get on Halloween. Even if you’re an adult and haven’t been trick-or-treating in thirty years you still remember the neighbors who gave toothbrushes at Halloween. And that’s the only thing you remember about those neighbors because nobody […]
What’s that Ringing in Your Pants? Phantom Cellphone Vibrations Explained!
October 15, 2012
My wife didn’t believe me when I told her I was experiencing phantom cellphone vibrations. Many times I’ve felt my phone vibrate, pulled it from my pocket, and realized it wasn’t even ringing. And sometimes my cell phone wasn’t even in my pocket. And some of those times I didn’t even own a cellphone. But […]
Awareness Awareness Month is Just Around the Corner–Were You Aware?
October 12, 2012
If you follow America’s National Football League, you’ve probably noticed the players wearing hot pink accessories as the NFL participates in October’s campaign for breast cancer. Just to be clear, this is a campaign ‘against’ breast cancer, not ‘for’ breast cancer. And more specifically, it’s a campaign to raise ‘awareness’ of breast cancer for any […]
Situations When It’s Better to Give than Receive
October 10, 2012
At Christmas time, Mom was always fond of reminding us “It’s better to give than to receive,” but we always disagreed. With a bit more life experience I’ve realized Mom was onto something and there are in fact multiples instances when it’s far better to give than to receive. It’s better to give _____ than […]
10 Date Ideas Better Than Dinner and a Movie
October 1, 2012
‘Dinner and a Movie’ has become the standard go-to date in America. I’m surprised by its popularity, especially as a first date since a movie provides you very little opportunity to talk and get to know each other, and dinner will only start off on an embarrassing note when you can’t pronounce hors d’oeuvres. It’s […]
To the Bimbos of Wikipedia
September 24, 2012
Who are the bimbos of Wikipedia? While working on a recent writing project, I had to compile a list of standard stock characters found in television. When attempting to describe the typical characteristics of the ‘bimbo’ character, I couldn’t decide if the bimbo has to be both dumb and promiscuous, or could she sometimes be […]
The Final Curtain Call…Or Is It? Yes, It Is…Unless…
September 21, 2012
I promised myself I wouldn’t do another play for a while after finishing Inspector Hound in June, but a week later I accepted the role of Adam in Frank McGuinness’ play Someone Who’ll Watch Over Me, premiering tomorrow night. I find it hard to say no when approached by a director I really want to […]
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