In celebration of my one year blogaversary, WordPress wanted to get me a little special something and offered to give me a free domain name if I gave them a little something special in the form of money to renew and update my WordPress features.
After searching GoDaddy.com for BradPitt.com, Brangelina.com, and CambodianBoyAngelinaAdopted.com (in case they force him to be famous like Will Smith’s kids), all were either unavailable or wanted more money than the free that WordPress was offering. GoDaddy.com suggested some variations of the name that might be acceptable alternatives:
BradSPitt.com has the most potential because it will attract two audiences; those seeking the possessive Brad’s Pitt; and those seeking Brad Spitt in case someone named Brad Spitt becomes famous. I guess it could also have value if the real Brad Pitt makes the news for spitting, possibly at this new Brad Spitt who’s been stealing his thunder.
Every few years I check to see if PaulJohnson.com is available. When I checked today, GoDaddy.com reported the domain was still taken and offered variations that might be an acceptable alternate to PaulJohnson.com.
How is PaulWeiners.com and Paul-Weiners.com in any way a variation of PaulJohnson.com? PaulieJohnson and PaulyJohnson could most certainly be considered a variation, but anything with Weiners in the title pushes the boundaries of the definition of variation. Why were Brad Pitt’s variations all so much cooler than my variations?
I tried another screen to contact the owner of PaulJohnson.com, and GoDaddy.com then suggested I might be interested in some premium alternatives:
Again, I hate to be critical, but with the exception of PaulJohnson.net, I think these variations missed the mark. How did they get PaulLavoie, PaulLavender (sounds like a Clue character who didn’t make it past the first draft), PaulTracey, JohnsonLee.com, JohnsonExcavation.com?
So what did I end up getting?
I know it’s a long shot, but if Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, and Jennifer Aniston ever get together, I’m going to be so, so rich.
The Good Greatsby 
becomingcliche
February 17, 2012
BradSpit is the only way to go. You’ve forgotten one critical target. Those wishing to purchase DNA in order to attempt a Brad Pitt clone in their basement.
The Good Greatsby
February 17, 2012
They should get working on that cloning right away since Brad Pitt doesn’t have many leading man years left and we’ll want a replacement before long.
becomingcliche
February 17, 2012
And it will take some trial and error. They may accidentally create a few with some acting talent and need to discard those to get the real deal.
The Good Greatsby
February 18, 2012
Ouch! Take that Brad. I can’t say he’s a bad actor but I can’t say he’s great either. Mostly I just think he’s Brad Pitt.
PCC Advantage
February 17, 2012
I vote for “PaulWeiners.com”
educlaytion
February 17, 2012
Seconded.
little blog of happy
February 18, 2012
Carried.
The Good Greatsby
February 18, 2012
If only I’d known PaulWeiners.com would be so popular, but it’s too late now.
Todd Pack
February 18, 2012
It would be interesting (or scary) to see what Google searches led people to a domain called PaulWeiners.com.
The Good Greatsby
February 18, 2012
I have an idea of what those people might have been looking for.
Kathryn McCullough
February 17, 2012
I have to agree. BradSpit–all the way!
The Good Greatsby
February 18, 2012
Kathryn, yours is an opinion that just might sway me. Let’s split the cost of the domain name 50/50 and go into business together promoting Brad Spitt.
susielindau
February 17, 2012
Buy it! Quick!!
I can’t believe the amount of money friends of ours have spent on domain names. One of them spent $100,000 on one they don’t use! Susielindau.com was available and not in demand when I bought it for about $25! Don’t worry. I won’t tell…..
The Good Greatsby
February 18, 2012
If your friend isn’t using that $100,000 domain name, maybe you can ask if I can use it on weekends.
susielindau
February 18, 2012
I bet he would work out a deal for you…..
Tori Nelson
February 17, 2012
This makes me worry that torinelson.net isn’t nearly exciting enough. Thank you for this. I came dangerously close to wasting $20 🙂
Lenore Diane
February 17, 2012
Backorder. Okay, that generated childish giggles.
Johnson … backorder …. Giggle, giggle. Dang, what am I? A teenager?
paulbeforeswine
February 17, 2012
Are you sure there isn’t a gay pornstar already named Brad Spitt?
The Good Greatsby
February 18, 2012
I didn’t want to write that explicitly but I was thinking in that direction.
paulbeforeswine
February 18, 2012
Great minds think alike. So do poor ones.
joehoover
February 17, 2012
Paul Wieners is on sale too.
pegoleg
February 17, 2012
There’s got to be a reason why GoDaddy is so determined to put a Weiner in your name. Anything you want to share?
monicastangledweb
February 17, 2012
Go figure. But with the kind of commercials GoDaddy produces, I’m not surprised it came p with PaulWeiner variations. Those guys have “it” on their minds 24/7.
Hippie Cahier
February 17, 2012
I wonder if Brangelinanistan.com is available. Sounds like a cozy little banana republic island where Paul Lavendar would hang out.
The Good Greatsby
February 18, 2012
If I ever fulfill my dream of establishing a banana republic, I’ll seriously consider the name Brangelinanistan. My first choice would be Banana Republic because I think I could get the company Banana Republic to give us sponsorship money.
Fraha
February 18, 2012
Actually I think your Brangelinaniston name is so creative that if Edward and Bella Cullen have another Twilight baby they should use this name in your honor and Edward shall buy your Banana Republic Island for his beloved Bella and baby Brangelinaniston.
thelifeofjamie
February 17, 2012
paulweiner…HA!
Adrienne schmadrienne
February 17, 2012
I like Bradspitt.com. That could have some promise. What about StuPitt.com? Brad’s not-so-smart, not-so-cute brother.
Invisible Mikey
February 18, 2012
I still like PaulEnormousJohnson.com, though “PaulieJ” has a nice Sopranos feel to it. Any of the Spitt variations would work as well. You can’t go wrong with bodily fluids.
The Good Greatsby
February 18, 2012
PaulEnormousJohnson.com is still available, although I’m not sure my parents would approve of my play on the family name.
thediaryofaneffuaddict
February 18, 2012
This will get you a whole slew of new readers that will instantly be confused. Priceless.
little blog of happy
February 18, 2012
It was done in the library, with a pipe, by Professor Lavender. (In his smoking jacket.)
Rob Rubin
February 18, 2012
Niiiiice.
philosophermouseofthehedge
February 18, 2012
Hilarious!
She's a Maineiac
February 18, 2012
I don’t know why, but I’m really digging PaulLavender.
Spectra
February 18, 2012
I second Paul Lavendar, Darla – especially if Paul gets a new, lavendar smoking jacket. Or his wife washes the blue one with his sons red socks. It could totally work.
gojulesgo
February 18, 2012
So with you guys. For some reason Paul Lavender seems like even more of a porn name than Paul Weiner.
Spectra
February 19, 2012
It’s so much more suggestive, like maybe he’s a very classy porn star.
Pie
February 18, 2012
I’m with Mikey. Paulie Johnson is definitely your Sopranos alter-ego and with Paul Tracy you could’ve been part of International Rescue, living on Tracy island.
Having a name like Johnson, I can see why Weiners came up, but I think you got off lightly, sir. GoDaddy could’ve thrown up Schlong.
Leanne Shirtliffe
February 18, 2012
I’m wondering if LeanneWeiners.com is taken? I can’t believe I didn’t think of that myself. So glad I read you post today.
The Good Greatsby
February 18, 2012
You’re in luck. I just checked and it’s not taken.
Dana
February 18, 2012
How old is GoDaddy, anyway– like twelve? I’m surprised they didn’t offer you paulpecker.com. Alliteration *and* a penis pun? It’s too good to be true! 😉
The Good Greatsby
February 18, 2012
Ha! I guess I didn’t take GoDaddy.com’s youth and lack of maturity into account when I passed judgment.
cooper
February 18, 2012
I think I stand alone in my affection for JohnsonExcavation.com…
Now in case Lady Gaga, Louis Anderson and Brad Pitt get together, you better grab GagaLouisPitt.com as well.
The Good Greatsby
February 18, 2012
I’m starting to realize the potential name combinations of celebrities getting together could be endless. I’m not sure I could afford it.
Ape No. 1
February 18, 2012
Haha. JohnsonExcavation.com caught my eye straight away too. I think it is the clear wiener.
Edward Hotspur
February 18, 2012
PullMyJohnson.com?
laurenrantnrave
February 18, 2012
How about IMPaulJohnson.com After all, you are, aren’t you?!
The Good Greatsby
February 18, 2012
But if I’m asking other people to enter the address in order to find me, won’t that create a lot of confusion among people who think they might also be Paul Johnson.
laurenrantnrave
February 18, 2012
I thought about that – so URPaulJohnson.com – but then again why would you want to leave your alter ego GG? It’s a brand you should never give up!
flippingchannels
February 18, 2012
I think you went with the classy choice. Good for you. With a smoking jacket like yours how could we have expected any less?
Binky
February 19, 2012
That’s the curse of having a common name. Someone else buys it before you do. I think you should buy one of the suggested ones, and then change your name to match. It’d be cheaper in the long run.
ichoosehappynow
February 19, 2012
As usual, you have a creative and funny way about you. Thanks for the laugh.
Cheers,
Louise
spilledinkguy
February 20, 2012
Congrats on the anniversary, Mr. Weiner!
🙂
yellowcat
February 23, 2012
Consider yourself lucky. WordPress never gives me anything except a headache when they change formats.
HoaiPhai
February 29, 2012
I’m stunned that I’m the first to suggest JohnsonSchnitzel.com.