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Paul Johnson's comedy blog: I didn't get into comedy to be rich or famous. All I've ever wanted was to be loved…by somebody rich and famous.
Browsing All Posts published on »June, 2011«
What’s a Couch Between Friends?
Moving is hard. You need someone to help you, or better yet, someone who can be tricked into doing it for you. You could ask a friend, but unfortunately you don’t have any friends because you never call unless you need a favor, like moving. Or maybe you always ask for help, but you’re never […]
Sunday Potluck
June 5, 2011
My 7-year-old, The Fonz, asked his 9-year-old brother if he knew the n-word. I think his curiosity stemmed from a family conversation we had a couple months ago about racism, and I mentioned some people said mean words to other people of a different skin color, but I hesitated to give any specific words, no […]
Hats Off to the Queen’s Hat
June 4, 2011
1. QUEEN: “You can undress me with your eyes all you want, but the hat stays on.” 2. QUEEN: “I saw Elton John wearing it, and I just ‘hat’ to have it. Get it? ‘Hat’ to have it? Bit of English hat humour for you.” 3. OBAMA: “You’re required to carry your constitutional powers on […]
Food Pyramid We Hardly Knew Ye
June 3, 2011
Yesterday the United States Department of Agriculture announced it was abandoning the food pyramid icon and moving to a new icon called “My Plate”. The USDA gave the following reasons for the change: 1. Many people found the food pyramid confusing, especially on the matter of whether food should be served from a pyramid instead […]
How to Out-stalk a Stalker
June 2, 2011
If you suspect you’ve attracted a stalker, you can try and get a restraining order and take a chance he’ll be scared off, but TV has taught me you’re just as likely to provoke him to new levels of stalkerdom. Instead of letting him know you’re worried, why not stalk him back and scare him […]
Palin and Trump 2012
June 1, 2011
Sarah Palin and Donald Trump met yesterday in New York. They held a brief pretend meeting at Trump’s office, spoke to a huge throng of press corp about pretend issues, then went for pizza. They towed the families along for the pizza outing because of course Trump was probably already planning to head to his […]
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