Boyfriend Goes Hog Wild

A Florida man on a hunting trip accidentally shot his girlfriend in the leg when he mistook her for a hog.

When she woke up, I wonder how that conversation went.

“What happened? Did you shoot me?”
“Baby, I promise it was an accident; from a distance you looked just like a hog.”
“Can I hold your gun for a second?”

This might be the perfect opportunity for him to challenge her requirement of complete honesty in the relationship. When he tells her the truth instead of lying and saying he mistook her for an armed supermodel, she’ll hold it over his head for the rest of his life, giving him all the permission he needs to lie in the future.

Some other things he might want to consider lying about:

If the doctors weren’t able to save her leg because of the critical hour they lost when he accidentally called a veterinarian instead of a doctor.

If he still continued hunting that hog before he called a doctor.

Here are some things friends and family might think are funny to say when they visit this poor woman in the hospital, but I assure you she won’t laugh:

What’s shakin’ bacon?

I was so nervous waiting to hear if you’d pull through. The whole time I was sweating like a pig.

Did you know hogs are one of the most intelligent animals? Hogs and elephants.

I bet after all this hospital food, you’re looking forward to going home and pigging out.

My favorite Charlie Brown character was always Pig-Pen.

So are you going to break up with him? Before you make any sudden decisions remember with your injury you won’t be able to work for a while and will have to rely on him to bring home the bacon.

The cops say unless you press charges against him their hands are hog-tied.

I heard he also shot his ex-girlfriend–when he mistook her for a unicorn.