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Paul Johnson's comedy blog: I didn't get into comedy to be rich or famous. All I've ever wanted was to be loved…by somebody rich and famous.
Browsing All posts tagged under »family«
Packers Sent Packing
I had intended to post yesterday, but after the Green Bay Packers painful playoff loss, I was too busy feeling sorry for myself. Not even the three compliments I received yesterday on my vacation tan managed to cheer me up. To be honest, that did cheer me up a little. I do look pretty tan. […]
Weekend Round-up
January 14, 2012
Our ten-year-old son, Optimist Prime, doesn’t get near as many mentions as The Fonz because he’s probably the most polite, positive person I know and rarely does me the favor of getting in trouble to provide material for this blog. This week a teacher told my wife he had approached Optimist Prime and told him, […]
Tupperware Tupperwhere?
January 9, 2012
About once a week my wife and I discuss the case of the missing Tupperware. Some people can never find their socks and blame the dryer. Some people can never find a wooden stake when a vampire comes knocking. Some people can never find their medication, because I’ve hidden it. My wife and I can […]
The Greatsbys’ Bali Finale
January 6, 2012
We’ve had a wonderful trip these last three weeks. I skiied in South Korea, and in Bali I hiked, surfed, and waterslid at Bali’s WaterBom waterpark on Christmas Day. We didn’t bring cell phones and were delighted to never know what time it was, which sounds nice in theory but may have accounted for why […]
Bali with the Greatsbys
December 28, 2011
“What is it about being on holiday that makes me always want to be on holiday?” –Mrs. Good Greatsby Every time we go on vacation I relearn the lesson that no matter how expensive the hotel, how beautiful the scenery, or how fascinating the culture, the best part of the kids’ vacation will be the […]
An Interview with Optimist Prime
December 26, 2011
My family and I are enjoying our vacation in sunny and sometimes rainy Bali, Indonesia. My ten-year-old, Optimist Prime, appeared to be having too much fun in the swimming pool and I decided to give his day some structure by interviewing him. Dad: Welcome to my office. Sit anywhere you like. OP: There’s only one […]
Beauty is in the Eye of the Asian Beholder
December 21, 2011
When checking out of our hotel in Seoul, the manager bade my wife a farewell that guaranteed his hotel would top her list if we ever returned, “All the staff thinks you are so beautiful. Your husband is so tall and handsome. Together you make beautiful children. The most handsome family. And I am in […]
Effort-Reward Ratios of Christmas Dinner Attention-Getters
December 16, 2011
Christmas is just around the corner and if you’re anything like me, you’re probably looking forward to Christmas Dinner with your family and anticipating the time-honored tradition of competing to be the center of attention. Everyone will arrive with a gimmick–good news to share, a funny story, or an expertly-prepared dish–and you know you’ve got […]
Teaching Kids Using Rhyme over Reason
December 9, 2011
I’m fond of reminding my sons that “adults rule and kids drool.” This is a catchy way to constantly reinforce the value of my judgment over theirs. Kids have a short attention span and it’s important to use rhymes and catchy sayings to help them quickly remember good advice and make the right decisions. Whitney […]
Is a Photoshopped Picture Still Worth a Thousand Words?
December 8, 2011
Last summer my wife and kids visited our families in the United States while I performed in a play at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. My parents arranged a family photo with my siblings’ families and my wife and two sons, and although my exclusion couldn’t help but fuel long-standing suspicions my parents would pick my […]
Saturday Salad Bar
December 3, 2011
My ten-year-old son, Optimist Prime, felt a little left out when the interview with The Fonz was featured yesterday so I promised him his own interview would come before long. OP is also pretty funny but The Fonz is featured more often on this blog because he literally speaks ten sentences for every one sentence […]
An Interview with Apollo Fonzarelli
December 2, 2011
My seven-year-old son, Apollo Fonzarelli, nicknamed The Fonz, has been sick the last few days. The kid is normally a high-energy, bundle of nerves, but his illness-induced lethargy gave me the rare opportunity to keep him in one place long enough to have a conversation. I took the opportunity to sit next to his bed […]
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January 17, 2012
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