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Paul Johnson's comedy blog: I didn't get into comedy to be rich or famous. All I've ever wanted was to be loved…by somebody rich and famous.
Browsing All posts tagged under »crime«
Air Conditioners for President!
I’m a peace-loving man. Indeed I was kicked out of the Peace Corps for loving peace too much. Those phonies in the Peace Corps say they want peace, but I was the only one willing to fight for it. As part of my commitment to spreading peace I’m constantly studying the science of aggression, and […]
It’s Better to Be Safe Than Friendly
February 24, 2016
I was watching the news and they said the majority of murder victims are killed by people they know. I bring this up any time my wife tries to get me to meet new people. The fewer people you know, the safer you’ll be. I say no to parent teacher conferences, open houses, book clubs, […]
Detergent Thefts Leave Stores Hanging Out to Dry
March 14, 2012
News reports claim American stores are experiencing a spike in thefts of Tide laundry detergent. Apparently the high retail value of Tide, $10 to $20 a bottle, and the lack of a serial number, make it an attractive target for thieves to steal and resell. I’m pretty sure the story has been blown out of […]
Everybody Loves a Clown…Except for Everybody I Know
June 20, 2011
Perhaps you’ve heard the story of the off-duty police officer dressed as a clown who shot a man trying to rob him at gunpoint. This must be a pretty rundown neighborhood when a clown catches your eye as the wealthiest potential mugging target. Think of all the rich clowns who are members of your country […]
My Test of Friendship
June 9, 2011
When I’m at a party, I’m not usually the type to try to be the center of attention. I’m more likely to be in a corner trying to convince someone I’ve just met that I’m about to confess to a crime. We’re laughing about something and then my face darkens, and I get a faraway […]
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March 15, 2016
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