Subscribe:
RSS feed
Paul Johnson's comedy blog: I didn't get into comedy to be rich or famous. All I've ever wanted was to be loved…by somebody rich and famous.
Browsing All Posts filed under »Family«
Tupperware Tupperwhere?
About once a week my wife and I discuss the case of the missing Tupperware. Some people can never find their socks and blame the dryer. Some people can never find a wooden stake when a vampire comes knocking. Some people can never find their medication, because I’ve hidden it. My wife and I can […]
An Interview with Optimist Prime
December 26, 2011
My family and I are enjoying our vacation in sunny and sometimes rainy Bali, Indonesia. My ten-year-old, Optimist Prime, appeared to be having too much fun in the swimming pool and I decided to give his day some structure by interviewing him. Dad: Welcome to my office. Sit anywhere you like. OP: There’s only one […]
Is a Photoshopped Picture Still Worth a Thousand Words?
December 8, 2011
Last summer my wife and kids visited our families in the United States while I performed in a play at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. My parents arranged a family photo with my siblings’ families and my wife and two sons, and although my exclusion couldn’t help but fuel long-standing suspicions my parents would pick my […]
An Interview with Apollo Fonzarelli
December 2, 2011
My seven-year-old son, Apollo Fonzarelli, nicknamed The Fonz, has been sick the last few days. The kid is normally a high-energy, bundle of nerves, but his illness-induced lethargy gave me the rare opportunity to keep him in one place long enough to have a conversation. I took the opportunity to sit next to his bed […]
The Fonz is All Ears…Unless You’re Calling His Name
October 13, 2011
As a child I remember being reprimanded a lot for not listening, as though turning off my ears had been a conscious decision. Adults swore they had told me something important, and I had nodded acknowledgement, but all details of the conversation eluded me. I remember a lot of conversations ending with, “Do you understand […]
A Change of Style
September 1, 2011
Home again, home again. I made it back to Shanghai this morning, and I had previously told my wife not to make a big fuss, which is probably why nobody met me at the airport. Probably also why nobody met me at home either. And probably why my wife didn’t answer the phone when I […]
What Would Harry Potter Do?
August 4, 2011
Kids like to be teased. When my kids say they don’t like to be teased I realize this is their way of teasing me back and begging for more teasing. I tease my kids a lot, but I hope my teasing manages to teach them valuable life lessons at the same time because this helps […]
Motivate Yourself with Fake Rivalries
July 26, 2011
When I find myself lazy or lacking motivation in some important aspect of life, I try and outline the problem and set a series of goals to help me regain focus. When that doesn’t work, I try and invent rivalries and enemies in the hopes that I’ll gain inspiration through the desire to show them […]
Parenting Efficiency
July 25, 2011
Parents often feel guilty. They may feel guilty for not spending enough time with their kids. Or maybe they put in the hours, but they worry it’s not enough quality time. I don’t worry about the quantity of time versus quality of time debate because I only measure parental success in quantity of activities. Time […]
Have Water, Will Travel
July 19, 2011
What’s the first thing you pack when taking a trip? My wife and kids leave on a trip to the US tomorrow. My seven-year-old, The Fonz, asked if his mom would help him pack a bag, although he specified, “but no clothes.” His mom asked him what he planned to pack if not clothes and […]
A Trip Down Memory Lane
July 18, 2011
If you ask for directions to my home I’ll always tell you to turn onto my street from the main road on the east. I would never tell you to take the road from the west because I can’t remember the street name, even though I’ve lived here for six years. Scientists believe Internet […]
Sorting Hat, Please, Please Don’t Put Me In Hufflepuff!
July 14, 2011
If you’ve been a long-time reader, perhaps you remember my post, How to Tease Your Kids, extolling my love for teasing. If I ever lose my love for teasing, my love for my children will likely soon follow. If I couldn’t tease them, I’d probably be a lot less interested in parenting, which is why […]
Recent Comments
Huffington Post Comedy
Five Times:
Columns in Time Out Shanghai Magazine
The Good Greatsby 
January 9, 2012
58