Subscribe:
RSS feed
Paul Johnson's comedy blog: I didn't get into comedy to be rich or famous. All I've ever wanted was to be loved…by somebody rich and famous.
Browsing All Posts published on »July, 2011«
Hey, Where’s that Fifty Bucks You Owe Me?
About once a month I set a date to go over my finances. This usually involves analysis of four categories: 1. Bills to pay 2. Savings and investments 3. How the kids could make me money, possibly through street busking or pick-pocketry 4. How to trick or guilt people into giving me money The kids […]
More Indifferent State Tourism Slogans: Now 50% More Slogany
July 4, 2011
Happy birthday, America! I got you a card but I wasn’t sure where to send it. Allow me to apologize for sullying your reputation by trying to settle all arguments both home and abroad with a chant of “USA! USA! USA!” Now for a selection of even indifferenter, fat-freer, low calorierer, state tourism slogans: Alabama: […]
Sunday Brunch
July 3, 2011
Yesterday my seven-year-old, The Fonz, told my wife, “Parenting must be hard, especially when you have kids.” I would have answered, “Actually, parenting without having kids is even harder.” ….. Christine Lagarde was selected this week as International Monetary Fund Managing Director. I never received a response to my job inquiry email to the IMF. […]
The Most Positive Child in the World
July 2, 2011
Happy birthday to my son, Optimist Prime, who turns ten tomorrow! I don’t mention Optimist Prime as often as my seven-year-old, The Fonz, because The Fonz is more likely to get in trouble and say something funny when he gets caught. Optimist Prime is more likely to go to bed on time without being asked, […]
Indifferent State Tourism Slogans
July 1, 2011
Arizona: 47 days without a killer bee attack. Connecticut: ‘Connect’ing Rhode Island and New York since 1788. Delaware: Experts in giving directions to Maryland, Pennsylvania, or New Jersey. Kansas: You’ve got to stop for gas somewhere–why not stop in Kansas? Kentucky: Now accessible by car. Louisiana: Anyone named Louis or Ana eats free. Maine: Once […]
Recent Comments
Huffington Post Comedy
Five Times:
Columns in Time Out Shanghai Magazine
The Good Greatsby 
July 6, 2011
41