Who are the bimbos of Wikipedia?
While working on a recent writing project, I had to compile a list of standard stock characters found in television. When attempting to describe the typical characteristics of the ‘bimbo’ character, I couldn’t decide if the bimbo has to be both dumb and promiscuous, or could she sometimes be just one. I realized this philosophical question could only be settled by Wikipedia.
I found the definition and historical explanation of ‘bimbos’ to be quite enlightening. Even better, Wikipedia went above and beyond by providing a picture of what a bimbo looks like in its natural habitat:
“An example of two barmaid bimbos working with the standard look“
Who are these bimbos? Something tells me these girls don’t know their picture is being used by Wikipedia as the definitive standard by which all bimbos are measured. I think they’d want to know schoolchildren are seeing their picture each time they do research for reports on bimbos.
I couldn’t help but imagine the many possible reasons someone might have submitted this photo to Wikipedia. I have the following theories:
1. The photo was submitted by the ex-boyfriend of one of these girls after she dumped him with the parting shot, “I’m really looking for someone with a bit more class.”
2. The photo was submitted by a brother trying to devalue Mom and Dad’s opinion of his sister during the same week they were planning to update their will.
3. The photo was submitted by a father who wished his daughter had other talents but finally decided to show his support for the one thing she excelled at: bimboing.
4. Just like Alcoholics Anonymous requires you to admit you’re an alcoholic, these girls entered a rehabilitation program requiring them to admit they were bimbos.
5. The photo was submitted by these very girls, who are actually proud of being bimbos and were tired of arguing with other barmaids about who was the bigger bimbo. “If you’re the biggest bimbo in this bar, why isn’t your face on the bimbo page of Wikipedia?”
…..
Read my latest on the Huffington Post Comedy page: The New, New Black
Leave a comment over at Huffington and the next time I see you I’ll buy you a drink. Or at the very least let you have a sip of my wife’s drink while she’s in the bathroom.
…..
Be sure to check out the caption contest winner and submit a caption in the new contest.
The Good Greatsby 
mistyslaws
September 24, 2012
Ah yes, Bimbonicus Americanis. A species found in many a bar and stranger’s bed. But what I want to know is if this picture was also in the Wikepedia page for “duckface?” More research is needed, I believe.
The Good Greatsby
September 25, 2012
I submitted your name as a potential volunteer for conducting that research.
Vanessa Chapman
September 24, 2012
Sometimes, and I speak from experience here, girls like to be thought of as Bimbos because people let their guard down around them, and the Bimbo who is sharper than she looks can take advantage of that. I therefore think your Number 5 is the most likely answer.
The Good Greatsby
September 25, 2012
But why are these pretend bimbos so concerned with getting us to let our guard down? Is it because they hope once our guard is down, they’ll be able to get away with even more bimboing?
Vanessa Chapman
September 25, 2012
Well I’m afraid I can’t give away ALL our secrets.
The Byronic Man
September 24, 2012
I’d never considered the wonderful opportunities afforded by, say, the Wikipedia page on “Gullible.”
“Wait… REALLY when you look up gullible on Wikipedia my picture is there? Or… because that’s possible, so… Really?”
The Good Greatsby
September 25, 2012
I looked it up but didn’t see your picture; I’m confused.
The Byronic Man
September 25, 2012
Well, if you look up “confused” on Wikipedia you see a picture of a gullible person! Ha ha- wait, I think I did that wrong…
The Good Greatsby
September 25, 2012
I flagged both the ‘confused’ and ‘gullible’ pages with the Wikipedia administrators. I still don’t understand the problem but they promised to contact you soon and get it all sorted.
Michelle Gillies
September 24, 2012
I would go with the spurned boyfriend angle. Unless, it was just a guy who got shot down because they preferred each other to any man’s company.
The Good Greatsby
September 25, 2012
They do seem to enjoy each other’s company.
zannyro
September 24, 2012
Ohhhhhhhhhhh…..It’s definitely the bimbo’s themselves that offered up this lovely image…A bimbo that I’m related to just posted him bimbo image…FROM HER WEDDING ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!!! The grooms face was turned away from the camera…ON PURPOSE!! (She was however, very proud of her new shoes and showed them off in that photo)
The Good Greatsby
September 25, 2012
But it’s also kind of smart of her to let all the guests know that shoes would be a welcome wedding gift.
Todd Pack
September 24, 2012
Rule of thumb: If you’re the person they use to illustrate something stupid in Wikipedia, it’s time for a little soul searching.
The Good Greatsby
September 25, 2012
Agreed. Maybe even a lot of soul searching.
mimijk
September 24, 2012
I’m thinking that one of these bimbos submitted the photo – perhaps with the skewed thinking that such product placement would bring them fame and fortune – or a couple of hot guys.
The Good Greatsby
September 25, 2012
But doesn’t that degree of strategy and critical thinking negate their qualifications to be a bimbo?
mimijk
September 25, 2012
Well I would question whether that’s strategic thinking or a fascination with reality tv. I would think that the bimbos of the world believe they are learning a lot from that kind of programming.
inukshuk
September 24, 2012
I think your wife bought it, Greatsby. Now you can go back to watching bimbo pictures on the internet without having to justify yourself.
I must say, your excuse is quite compelling : well-researched, documented and certainly elaborate. Good job, man!
Oh, and I vote for 5…
The Good Greatsby
September 25, 2012
My wife is fine with me researching bimbos as long as I limit the search to Wikipedia.
Hippie Cahier
September 24, 2012
Not only did I assume it was number 5 from the outset, I also suspect they’ve included it in their resumes. Do bimbos have resumes?
The Good Greatsby
September 25, 2012
I assume so. If you’re going to accept the life of a bimbo, you might as well go all in.
pegoleg
September 24, 2012
“Who Are the Bimbos Of Wikipedia?” sounds like a riveting new reality show on the Lifetime channel. You’d have contestants lined up for blocks to get on that show. Sigh.
The Good Greatsby
September 24, 2012
Lets work on that show together. You be in charge of getting it on the air and I’ll be in charge of splitting the profits 50/50.
pegoleg
September 24, 2012
I don’t see any possible downside to that plan.
Ignorethebucklesonmyjacket
September 24, 2012
This is America…everyone gets trophy. Definitely #4 & Daddy need to make sure her needs are taken care of on someone else’s dime.
The Good Greatsby
September 25, 2012
She should get a trophy just for sticking with something. Dad was tired of seeing her jump from one interest to another.
Lorna's Voice
September 25, 2012
This is not, and I repeat, not, a photo of actual Bimbos. I have lived among them most of my life, studying them by trying to immerse myself in their world for short (but surreal) periods of time.
Only an expert could tell that the fake from the real Bimbo. Notice the the lip pucker. It is forced. In the wild, a real Bimbo’s lip pucker is just as exaggerated, but completely natural, as if they really don’t understand what that things is that is in front of the person’s face that just made the “click” sound. That’s because they don’t.
So, if these fake Bimbos were on Wikipedia, then the real Bimbos were the people who put this photo on there and anyone who thinks these two women are actual Bimbos.
Now, if you’ll excuse me I have to get back into my tank top costume and go back to my studies…
The Good Greatsby
September 25, 2012
Why aren’t you contributing your valuable insight to Wikipedia?
Laura
September 25, 2012
I tried to leave a comment on your HuffPo article last night, but apparently the moderators there thought it was too offensive to approve. Use your imagination.
(Seriously, comments more recent than mine have appeared, so I don’t think it’s just that they haven’t gotten to it yet).
The Good Greatsby
September 25, 2012
I don’t understand the process they use to approve or reject comments either. I’m kind of happy I don’t because it allows me to believe I’m actually getting thousands of comments but they’re all being rejected.
Laura
September 25, 2012
They probably thought my comment was so witty that it would make all the other comments feel inadequate in comparison.
The Good Greatsby
September 25, 2012
That’s sad. Quit coddling the comments and give them a chance to stand on their own!.
aparnauteur
September 25, 2012
I am actually impressed that bimbos have their own niche in Wikisphere, and are not ashamed to play to their strengths. It’s good self-promotion, methinks.
BTW, I too tried commenting on your Huff piece, but the moderators seem to be too finicky!
The Good Greatsby
September 25, 2012
Your comment got through eventually. Sometimes it takes them a while to approve comments based on the time of day.
Kim
September 25, 2012
Perhaps they aren’t actually “real” people. Maybe it’s just a really good painting… by a painter that specializes in painting life-like bimbos?
The Good Greatsby
September 25, 2012
A painter has to specialize in something; why not bimbos?
spilledinkguy
September 25, 2012
I’m pretty sure I’d get thrown out of the Huff-Po comment / dialogue box.
They would totally be all like, ‘BIMBO!’…
and I would totally be all like, ‘Excuse me? What did you just say to me?’…
and then they would totally be all like, ‘Oh, you heard me just fine, bimbo’…
(and it would probably just go downhill from there).
The Good Greatsby
September 25, 2012
You’ve got to be pretty rough around the edges to get thrown out of Huffington. They don’t even require you to wear a shirt or shoes while commenting.
Kathryn McCullough
September 25, 2012
Congrats on the new HP piece. Loved it!
susielindau
September 25, 2012
Bimboing, not to be confused by limboing unless that is part of the job description and they are bimbos that limbo.
The Good Greatsby
September 25, 2012
‘Bimbos that limbo’ is kind of catchy. Bimbos should consider using that term in their marketing efforts.
susielindau
September 25, 2012
They could make t-shirts or tank tops with that slogan printed on them!
dianasschwenk
September 25, 2012
What is the male version of bimbo? Could it be Bambo? I’ve met a few of them and it’s all fun and games until they start talking…. ;P
Dana
September 25, 2012
BAMBO! That’s the funniest word I’ve heard all month, and I’m not even a bimbo. (I think.) (Thinking negates any bimbo-ness, doesn’t it?)
The Good Greatsby
September 25, 2012
If you have the ability to consciously consider whether you’re a bimbo, you’re probably not a bimbo.
Dana
September 26, 2012
“I think, therefore I am not”
dianasschwenk
September 25, 2012
haha I’m pretty sure it does 😉
Drew
September 25, 2012
Professional bimbos! Doing their parents proud!
The Good Greatsby
September 25, 2012
Mom and Dad always encouraged her to find something she loved and to give it her all.
Binky
September 25, 2012
Perhaps they are professional bimbos and have a degree in bimboing. They look like serious studiers to me.
The Good Greatsby
September 25, 2012
At least they take pride in their work. The same can’t be said for everyone.
Zainab Khawaja
September 25, 2012
Oh wow. I’ve never paid much attention to Wikipedia photos but now that you mention it, I’m tempted to search up a few other terms. As far as bimbos are concerned, my first thing to say would be that it isn’t nice to call anyone that. However that statement would promptly be followed by an admission that I have known girls who willingly (and happily) call themselves bimbos because “you only live once”. Other reasons include “its all about the party” and “cuz were sexy and men like sexy”. Alas, I do not understand those women.
The Good Greatsby
September 25, 2012
I don’t understand them either. Maybe I should spend more time with them in an attempt to understand them better.
Zainab Khawaja
September 25, 2012
Perhaps take your wife? Women have wonderful ways of understanding each other.
Thoughts and Rants in Jogging Pants
September 25, 2012
This post made me wonder what a picture of myself might be used for in the Wikipedia world. I imagine it to be something very very cool, but sadly, it would probably be under ‘Jellybean Theft’ or ‘Space Cadet’
The Good Greatsby
September 25, 2012
Any publicity is good publicity, right? Even if the publicity is for your space cadet-itude.
bearmancartoons
September 25, 2012
they stole the look from Zoolander
The Good Greatsby
September 25, 2012
Especially the one on the right.
Soma Mukherjee
September 25, 2012
Oh man that is amazing..but those two look more like zombies…may be they took these shots to impress the maker of ‘Scary Movies’
Ape No. 1
September 25, 2012
I hear the image began as two quite normal looking girls until an elderly Spanish woman decided to attempt a restoration of sorts.
Angie Z.
September 26, 2012
Attack of the Killer Bimbos was once my favorite USA Network “Up All Night” B-Movie That I Would Never Watch Under Normal Conditions. I might feel much differently about these bimbos if they were packing heat. Sorta shaves off a bit of their irrelevance.
frigginloon
September 27, 2012
OK, this is a trick question right? Because I heard from a blonde that if you have your photo on Wiki you are a genius.
Margie
September 30, 2012
Seems like these bimbos are going to get more than the 15 minutes of fame that so many people crave – thanks to Wikipedia and your famous blog! Quite clever of them.
S. Trevor Swenson
October 10, 2012
Very clever…adding “bimbos” into your piece. You have inspired me to insert “free sex and money” somewhere in all my pieces from now on. Well played Sir. Have OP and/or The Fonz asked dad “What’s a bimbo?” yet?
The Good Greatsby
October 10, 2012
They haven’t asked but I’m pretty sure they don’t read my blog.
HoaiPhai
October 31, 2012
Is it possible that these are just two geeky girls trying to increase their popularity by writing the bimbo article on Wikipedia and attaching their picture to it?
Michaelbojenkins
October 1, 2013
Woah that is some pic