Browsing All posts tagged under »party«

Invite Me to Your Yachting Party

July 25, 2012


About once a year I’ll be out with friends at dinner and I’ll take a look around the table and realize: Paul, you could do a lot better than this crowd. But who is this better crowd? Where do they hang out? What kind of dinner jackets are they wearing this season so I can […]

Thank You for Inviting Me to the Party. I Apologize for My Behavior at the Party.

May 23, 2012


Thank you for inviting me to the party. Also, I apologize for my behavior at the party. Thank you for the delicious food served at the party. I apologize for filling my backpack with the delicious food and trying to sell it to the other guests at the party. Thank you for telling me to […]

Please, Please, Please Invite Me to Your Party

June 11, 2011


I am ready to be the life of your party. I know I’ve turned down all your recent invitations, and you swore never to invite me again, but I’m ready to apologize for all the excuses because I really want to come to your party. I’m sorry I told you my new religion forbade parties, […]

How to Manipulate People into Throwing You a Party

March 31, 2011


You deserve recognition! You deserve to be celebrated! But when was the last time someone threw you a party? How long have you been waiting for someone to suggest an epic gala celebrating your humanity, good looks, and intelligence? Or if those attributes are not possessed by you in proportions worthy of a giant party, […]