Browsing All posts tagged under »smoking jacket«

If Nobody is Going to Throw Me a Party, I Guess I’ll Have to Throw One

February 16, 2012


My wife and I always bring each other breakfast in bed on our respective birthdays. Her birthday is tomorrow, but I brought her breakfast in bed a week ago to make her think I’d gotten the date wrong. It was probably the first time in a year that I’d successfully played any joke on her […]

Please, Please, Please Invite Me to Your Party

June 11, 2011


I am ready to be the life of your party. I know I’ve turned down all your recent invitations, and you swore never to invite me again, but I’m ready to apologize for all the excuses because I really want to come to your party. I’m sorry I told you my new religion forbade parties, […]

Can You Be Considered a Success if You’re not Wearing Pants?

May 20, 2011


People ask me how I find time to write this blog every day, and I have to pause and consider whether I truly have “found time” to write this blog every day if I’m writing it while not wearing pants.  I’m certain I put on pants when I got out of bed this morning–or maybe […]