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Paul Johnson's comedy blog: I didn't get into comedy to be rich or famous. All I've ever wanted was to be loved…by somebody rich and famous.
Browsing All Posts filed under »Columns«
Economics Even A Six Year Old Can Understand–Part 1
Every parent hopes children learn the following important lessons about money: How to live frugally. When it is okay to borrow money. How to save for a rainy day. How to be wealthy, but still win the respect of your servants in a way that ensures they’ll hide you when the local peasants form a […]
Larry King Kardashatron Prophet
March 17, 2011
I know it’s a digital world, but I can’t stand digital watches… –Larry King When the history of mankind is written by our humanoid-Kardashian replacements, we may be surprised by their conclusions. Some worry mankind will be judged harshly for wars, pollution, and Vin Diesel, but each culture brings its own bias when viewing another, […]
The Mysterious Mystery of the Mysterious Nephew
March 11, 2011
My favorite Aunt Susan left a comment in the About Paul section that must rank as the coolest description of me I’m ever likely to hear. She recommends me, but in an effort to be unbiased and honest qualifies her recommendation like she’s trying to make up her mind about me as well. Somehow, the […]
My Genius Cat Megatron
March 10, 2011
Eventually, every pet owner faces the ethical question: How much is my pet worth to me? If the veterinarian says $75, I don’t hesitate to pay. If she says $1,200 in order to prolong life for a year, I need to think about it. If she suggests an extremely experimental human-to-cat kidney transplant–well, that’s going […]
The Case of Klipspringer’s Shoes–Part 3 of 3
March 3, 2011
What if Fitzgerald had written a total of 10 chapters instead of 9? What if he’d originally shown his editor an alternative chapter 6 with more scenes of Gatsby and Daisy as a couple, but set to a groan-inducing sub-plot–like a visit from Nick’s adorable tow-headed cousin Lil’ Oliver, and you would not believe the […]
The Case of Klipspringer’s Shoes–Part 2 of 3
March 2, 2011
When I’m reading an all-time great like Gatsby for the second or third time, I begin to imagine what the first draft of the story looked like when the author submitted it to his editor for review. What if the author purposely inserted an undeniably awful sub-plot or chapter to gauge if the editor had […]
The Case of Klipspringer’s Shoes–Part 1 of 3
March 1, 2011
The Comedy Rule of Three is a structure for setting up a punchline: you give two straight lines to establish your meaning is going in one direction, and then the third line is a joke or ironic twist going in another. There’s a musicality and rhythm in listing three that always works better than two […]
Larry King Septuagenarian Hipster Genius
February 24, 2011
I eat blueberries every day and I am better off for it… –Larry King For years Larry King has been mocked and parodied for his unique don’t-learn-anything-about-the-guest interviewing style and his laundry list columns, a rambling catalog of non-sequiturs, name-dropping, plugs, and shamefully obvious observations: I’d buy Britney Spears’ new album, but the store was […]
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March 18, 2011
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