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Paul Johnson's comedy blog: I didn't get into comedy to be rich or famous. All I've ever wanted was to be loved…by somebody rich and famous.
Browsing All Posts published on »February, 2012«
Chinglish Pet Care
I visited a local pet store on Friday. It’s a good thing pets can’t read because they ‘d probably be alarmed if they saw their owners buying either of the products below: Apparently this Friend Baby product for ‘syrup-black to rid of vermin’ either tastes like insect candy or will taste like candy to insects. […]
Two Pictures of the Boys
February 4, 2012
The Fonz didn’t need any encouragement regarding his fashion choices. We were right to be worried when he came home and told us Whatshername had remarked, “I really like your funny clothes.” That’s all the permission he’ll ever need to wear anything he wants for the rest of his life. This is what he wore […]
Three Cheers for Sports! Sports! Sports!
February 3, 2012
In the distant, post-apocalyptic future, when the children of our Kardash-a-tron humanoid replacements are assigned book reports on the ancient Americans and tasked with explaining our customs, rituals, and celebrations, the very first chapter will be titled: The Super Bowl. I love the Super Bowl and its ability to unite Americans behind a love of […]
Fonz and Whatshername Sitting in a Tree: Part 2
February 2, 2012
Many readers have been on the edge of their seats waiting for an update on my seven-year-old’s love life. When I say ‘many readers,’ I can’t think of any specific examples, but I’m assuming single men willing to try anything, in particular, are curious whether The Fonz’s non-sequiturs and cape-wearing might actually work. (Read the […]
America Moons Over 51st State
February 1, 2012
Republican Presidential candidate Newt Gingrich has proposed establishing a space colony on the moon by 2020, and has even gone so far as to suggest the Moon could become America’s 51st state. His chief opponent Mitt Romney dismissed the idea as a transparent ploy to capitalize on the Moon’s lower gravity in hopes of artificially […]
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