Do you have an ugly child who refuses to obey your commands to be less ugly?
Do you have co-workers who don’t seem sufficiently enthused when you show pictures of your cats, and you wonder if you should try and get them fired?
Do you have cats who don’t act sympathetic enough when you explain how much you hate your co-workers?
Do you have a rabbit who refuses to participate in your magic act because he has ethical conflicts about deceiving children?
Are you trying to date a girl who is too shallow to look past your unattractiveness, lack of job, terrible personality, body odor, and unresolved criminal charges?
Did you host a dinner party and a guest ruined the festive atmosphere by revealing she has six months to live and you wonder how to ask her to reimburse you for the cost of the party?
Do you need advice?
The Good Greatsby is on the case. Turn your problems over to a man of culture who has won three spelling bees, wears a smoking jacket, and makes a cracking Parmesan souffle.
And every week I’ll be answering your questions with the help of a guest panelist, which may include:
My personal assistant, Ken:
And don’t just take my word for it; read these testimonials from some of the many people I’ve helped:
MY WIFE: “I wish you would spend more time with the kids.”
MY MOM: “Where’s that $50 you owe me?”
MY BEST FRIEND, TODD: “Please stop emailing me.”
MY PERSONAL ASSISTANT, KEN: “I’m going to a job interview during lunch. If I don’t come back, that means I got the other job.”
Check back every Wednesday for a new Dear Good Greatsby.
Do you have a question for The Good Greatsby?