Strangers on a Train–Not Strangers for Long

Posted on April 16, 2012

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I saw this picture of a crowded train of Muslims heading home for a religious festival.

At first I felt bad they had to ride in such uncomfortable conditions, but I heard the in-train entertainment featured an outstanding stand-up comedian and the time just flew by:

Hello, ladies and gentleman, I know I’m supposed to be a stand-up comedian, but I couldn’t sit down if I wanted to.

Hey, pal, if you’re gonna put your elbow in my back, your hand on my leg, and your leg on my shoulder, you could at least buy me dinner first.

If this is first class, makes you wonder what coach is like.

What’s the deal with airline food? Also, what’s an airline?

Psst! Hey, buddy. I think that girl over there likes you. You should go talk to her. I’ll talk to her friend so the two of you can have a moment alone.

I’m gonna get up and stretch my legs; will you save my seat? Yes, I know I was sitting on your lap, but still, will you save my seat?

This bathroom line hasn’t moved forever. What’s that you say? I’m not even in the bathroom line?

Sometimes I just feel so lonely. I wish I had someone to talk to.

I’m not gonna to argue with you over this armrest. I was resting my arm on this guy’s arm long before you.

Sir, could you move to the side? Rail regulations require the maximum occupancy sign be prominently displayed at all times.

The train management has asked me to point out the emergency exits. In case of emergency, please exit there or there or there or there or, well, basically anywhere because we’re on the roof, people!

*****

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Posted in: Columns