Many readers have been on the edge of their seats waiting for an update on my seven-year-old’s love life. When I say ‘many readers,’ I can’t think of any specific examples, but I’m assuming single men willing to try anything, in particular, are curious whether The Fonz’s non-sequiturs and cape-wearing might actually work.
(Read the first Fonz and Whatshername Sitting in a Tree post)
If you remember from the previous post, The Fonz has been giving me regular updates of their interactions and I named her Whatshername because he was so confident they had made a connection and she liked him but after a dozen interactions he still didn’t know her name.
This morning before school he was excited to tell me Optimist Prime was also convinced of Whatshername’s interest.
“OP told me he’s pretty sure she likes me.”
“How does he know?”
“He said, ‘I saw the two of you on the playground and she must like you because she always laughs at your terrible jokes.”
The Fonz was so excited by his brother’s analysis, he forgot to be annoyed OP called his jokes ‘terrible.’ Being funny is very important to him so you know he’s smitten when he continually recounts OP’s observation and his eyes light up when referring to his own ‘terrible jokes.’
(Note: OP is the kindest kid I know and I don’t think he was trying to be mean when he called The Fonz’s jokes ‘terrible.’ I think he meant ‘even when they’re terrible.’)
Whether she appreciates his sense of humor or not, it’s just as likely he caught her eye with his fashion sense. This must have occurred to him as well when he got dressed this morning and took his style to a whole new level.
Yes, he’s wearing welder goggles and a cape. If you have a sharp eye and a good memory, you may remember from my Halloween post that the welder goggles were part of the robot costume he pretended to help me make a couple years ago.
When I walked him to the bus, the Chinese bus driver took one look at him, made eye contact with me, then shrugged. A few months ago this outfit would have earned a shake of the head, but I think he’s finally gotten used to our strange foreign customs. If he’d asked, I would have told him the goggles were corrective and had been prescribed by a doctor.
Although an exciting fashion accessory, welder goggles are not highly recommended for most kid activities, such as walking to and from the bus or doing schoolwork, since they’re specifically designed to block out most light. Some dads would have worried about all the things he’d bump into throughout the day, but if you saw The Fonz walk, you’d realize he spends most of his day bumping into things anyway, and perhaps these lenses would correct his lack of equalibrium and might actually qualify as corrective.